Write about the following topic: In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, the
big
number of Correct word choice
large
the
private Correct article usage
apply
home
ownership instead
of renting one has played a vital role for humanbeing
in some nations. There are several reasons behind it, and personally, I think it is a good situation. In Correct your spelling
human being
human beings
this
essay, I will demonstrate that
arguments of that point of view.
Correct determiner usage
the
To begin
with, it is commonly believe
for having Change the verb form
is commonly believed
a
sustainable living and Correct article usage
apply
fulfill
the adult phase of every Change the spelling
fulfil
individuals'
life, they shall endeavour to buy a Change noun form
individual's
home
. The mainly
reason is for the convenient environment and the ownership of property can accounted as their next assets. To illustrate Change the adverb
main
this
vividly, my sister who has bought her first home
, has created and desinged
Correct your spelling
designed
their
Change the word
a
place
that suit
Correct subject-verb agreement
suits
with
their appetite. Change preposition
apply
Moreover
, investing in a home
also
means that it is beneficial for future investment
that could Fix the agreement mistake
investments
growing
significantly as Change the verb form
grow
be growing
the
time goes by. Correct article usage
apply
Futhermore
, the elderly people could have a safe Correct your spelling
Furthermore
place
not only to spent
their pension time, but Change the form of the verb
spend
also
for preparing
wealth for Change preposition
to prepare
their
next generations.
Change the word
the
However
, those who support the idea of renting house
argue that it is very expensive to Correct article usage
a house
owning
Wrong verb form
own
home
in current years Correct article usage
a home
due to
its high demand in the
today's society. Correct article usage
apply
Morever
, many people choose to save Correct your spelling
Moreover
their big
Correct word choice
large
amount
of money Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
from
purchasing a house and rent it annually Change preposition
by
due to
its cheaper
costs. It is Correct word choice
lower
also
true that live
in Replace the word
living
temporary
Correct article usage
a temporary
place
also
allow
us Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
have
Add the particle
to have
a
flexible mobility to another area. A good example of Remove the article
apply
this
is for
Change preposition
apply
the
workers that Correct article usage
apply
can
work in several different cities, can Correct pronoun usage
who can
be easily change
their domicile because they do not have a permanent one. Change the verb form
easily change
As a result
, we can avoid boredom feeling
for staying in a very long time in one Verb problem
apply
place
and enhance our adaptation skills when we move to another regions
.
Replace the adjective
another region
other regions
Thus
, to conclude
the discussion, while
owning a home
could be essential for the
long-term financial planning for Correct article usage
apply
old-aged
group, the reason Fix the agreement mistake
the older
of
lower expenses and the flexible movements of renting a house Change preposition
for
also
logical.Add a missing verb
is also
Submitted by as on
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task achievement
Ensure your ideas are articulated clearly and comprehensively. For instance, some sentences are hard to follow due to grammar and vocabulary issues. Simplify your language to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your ideas. Some points in your essay seem disjointed. Smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas are essential for better coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and redundancy. Repeated information can dilute your main points. Make sure every paragraph adds a unique perspective to your argument.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion which effectively wraps up the main points discussed.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples, such as the one about your sister, which help to illustrate your points more vividly and make your essay more engaging.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.