Write about the following topic: In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #countries #home #people #be #case #situation

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Nowadays, the

big

Correct word choice

large

show examples

number of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

private

home

ownership

instead

of renting one has played a vital role for

humanbeing

Correct your spelling

human being

human beings

in some nations. There are several reasons behind it, and personally, I think it is a good situation. In

this

essay, I will demonstrate

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

arguments of that point of view.

To begin

with, it

is commonly believe

Change the verb form

is commonly believed

show examples

for having

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sustainable living and

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

the adult phase of every

individuals'

Change noun form

individual's

show examples

life, they shall endeavour to buy a

home

. The

mainly

Change the adverb

main

show examples

reason is for the convenient environment and the ownership of property can accounted as their next assets. To illustrate

this

vividly, my sister who has bought her first

home

, has created and

desinged

Correct your spelling

designed

their

Change the word

show examples

place

that

suit

Correct subject-verb agreement

suits

show examples

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their appetite.

Moreover

, investing in a

home

also

means that it is beneficial for future

investment

Fix the agreement mistake

investments

show examples

that could

growing

Change the verb form

grow

be growing

show examples

significantly as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time goes by.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, the elderly people could have a safe

place

not only to

spent

Change the form of the verb

spend

show examples

their pension time, but

also

for preparing

Change preposition

to prepare

show examples

wealth for

their

Change the word

the

show examples

next generations.

However

, those who support the idea of renting

house

Correct article usage

a house

show examples

argue that it is very expensive to

owning

Wrong verb form

own

show examples

home

Correct article usage

a home

show examples

in current years

due to

its high demand in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

today's society.

Morever

Correct your spelling

Moreover

, many people choose to save

their big

Correct word choice

large

show examples

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

of money

from

Change preposition

show examples

purchasing a house and rent it annually

due to

its

cheaper

Correct word choice

lower

show examples

costs. It is

also

true that

live

Replace the word

living

show examples

temporary

Correct article usage

a temporary

show examples

place

also

allow

Correct subject-verb agreement

allows

show examples

have

Add the particle

to have

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

flexible mobility to another area. A good example of

this

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

workers that

can

Correct pronoun usage

who can

show examples

work in several different cities, can

be easily change

Change the verb form

easily change

show examples

their domicile because they do not have a permanent one.

As a result

, we can avoid boredom

feeling

Verb problem

apply

show examples

for staying in a very long time in one

place

and enhance our adaptation skills when we move to

another regions

Replace the adjective

another region

other regions

show examples

Thus

to conclude

the discussion,

while

owning a

home

could be essential for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

long-term financial planning for

old-aged

Fix the agreement mistake

the older

show examples

group, the reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

lower expenses and the flexible movements of renting a house

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

logical.

Submitted by as on Tue Aug 13 2024

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task achievement

Ensure your ideas are articulated clearly and comprehensively. For instance, some sentences are hard to follow due to grammar and vocabulary issues. Simplify your language to enhance clarity.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical flow of your ideas. Some points in your essay seem disjointed. Smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas are essential for better coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition and redundancy. Repeated information can dilute your main points. Make sure every paragraph adds a unique perspective to your argument.

structure

The essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion which effectively wraps up the main points discussed.

task achievement

You have provided relevant examples, such as the one about your sister, which help to illustrate your points more vividly and make your essay more engaging.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

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