The solution to the overpopulation of this planet is education. Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with this statement. Support your point with reasons or examples from your own experience.

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Population growth has become a serious problem on earth which some people
belive
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believe

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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

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could be erased by spreading information through
education
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to
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apply

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people. I totally disagree with
this
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point
due to
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few
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a few

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reasons which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs with some relevant
explanation
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explanations

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in brief.
To begin
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with Healthcare systems, doctors can guide to women the side effects of having more babies by providing more information with solutions. Using protection
while
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making physical
reaction
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reactions

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is essential because
this
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is one solution which may help to overcome overpopulation.
Also
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, professional Healthcare
department
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departments

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can
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware

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to
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of

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local people by
organizating
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organising

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campus, in which they can show videos, pictures, and some real examples of
this
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issue.
Because some
Correct word choice
Some

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individuals do not have
idea
Correct quantifier usage
any idea

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what are the causes of more children, but by attending
these awareness campus
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this awareness campus
these awareness campuses

It appears that the plural demonstrative these is modifying the singular noun campus. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun instead.

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they will think twice.
As a result
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,
this
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step will
put
Verb problem
have

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a positive effect on the economy of the country as
burden
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the burden

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on local authorities may
reduce
Wrong verb form
be reduced

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.
Furthermore
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,
government
Correct article usage
the government

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play an integral role
due to
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some factors.
Law makers
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Lawmakers

The word Law makers seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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can introduce child policy
according to
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the
overall
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birth rate of the nation which may help to mitigate
this
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problem.
For example
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,
few
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a few

It appears that the phrase few years ago does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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years ago,
China
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the Chinese

The word China doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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government made a rule of one child policy which was followed by
citizens
Correct article usage
the citizens

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of China and they
overcome
Wrong verb form
overcame

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overpopulation. No doubt,
education
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has become a part of
everyone
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everyone's

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life because teachers teach
to
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apply

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children everything
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at in

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in
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an

The word in doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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appropriate age about family planning and sex
education
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In their
further
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life, they will follow what they learn about the causes and benefits of overpopulation. In conclusion, there are other factors which can make a little participation to save
earth
Add an article
the earth

The noun phrase earth seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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than
education
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because is only for making successful life of children not for educating about sex. So, government and Healthcare systems should come first to solve
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

burning issue by taking reasonable steps.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has an organized structure with clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining focus on the topic.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as the one-child policy in China, which strengthen your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Family Planning
  • Population Growth
  • Economic Empowerment
  • Societal Norms
  • Birth Rates
  • Government Policies
  • Healthcare Access
  • Multifaceted Issue
  • Cultural Norms
  • Long-term Changes
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