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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some individuals argue that
art
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 should be considered a crucial subject in the school curriculum, as it plays a significant role in fostering
creativity
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 and critical thinking
skills
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 among children. They believe that exposure to
art
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 from a young age can help
students
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 develop a deeper appreciation for aesthetics and enhance their ability to think outside the box.
For instance
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, renowned artist Leonardo Da Vinci, known for his iconic works
such
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 as the Mona Lisa and The
Last
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 Supper, was not only a painter but
also
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 a scientist and inventor. His multidisciplinary approach to
art
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 exemplifies how
creativity
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 can transcend traditional boundaries and inspire innovation in various fields.
On the other hand
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, there are those who view
art
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education
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 as a frivolous pursuit that detracts from more "practical" subjects like math and science. They argue that time spent on
art
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 classes could be better utilized for academic subjects that are deemed more essential for future success in the workforce.
However
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, it is important to note that
art
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education
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 is not solely about creating beautiful paintings or sculptures; it
also
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 teaches
students
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 valuable
skills
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 like problem-solving, communication, and collaboration. These
skills
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 are increasingly valued in today's rapidly changing job market, where
creativity
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 and adaptability are highly sought after. In my opinion,
art
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 should be considered an essential subject in schools
due to
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 its numerous benefits for children's holistic development. By engaging in artistic activities,
students
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 can learn to express themselves in unique ways and explore their
creativity
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 without limitations.
Additionally
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, exposure to
art
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 can help
students
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 develop empathy and cultural awareness by exposing them to different perspectives and traditions.
For example
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, studying the works of diverse artists like Leonardo Da Vinci can broaden
students
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' understanding of history, culture, and human expression. In conclusion,
while
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 some may argue that
art
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education
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 is a waste of time, I firmly believe that it is a vital component of a well-rounded
education
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.
Art
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 not only nurtures
creativity
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 and critical thinking
skills
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 but
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likewise
Rephrase
also
show examples
 fosters personal growth and cultural appreciation. By incorporating
art
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 into the school curriculum, we can empower
students
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 to become more well-rounded individuals who are equipped to navigate the complexities of the modern world. Just as Leonardo Da Vinci's legacy continues to inspire generations with his innovative approach to
art
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 and science, so too can
art
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education
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 inspire future generations to think creatively and embrace diversity.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and using more advanced vocabulary to elevate the linguistic quality of the essay further.
Task Achievement
Ensure all examples are directly relevant and well-integrated into your argument. Your example of Leonardo Da Vinci was well-used, but try to provide more contemporary examples alongside historic ones.
Task Achievement
When presenting opposing views, make sure to emphasize their significance before countering with your opinion to ensure you thoroughly address both perspectives.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
Your arguments are well-supported with relevant examples, particularly the use of Leonardo Da Vinci to illustrate your points.
Task Achievement
You provided comprehensive ideas and tackled the essay prompt effectively, giving a balanced discussion of both views.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-expression
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • cultural awareness
  • tolerant society
  • STEM subjects
  • employability
  • rigorous subjects
  • curriculum
  • school budgets
  • enriches
  • complements
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