Many countries want to host international sports event, while other countries think that hosting sports event has more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The idea of being a
host
to a worldwide known
sports
event
can spark both positive and negative emotions. In
this
essay, I am going to elaborate on the potential problems and benefits that come with being the
host
country
and provide my own opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, having the opportunity of hosting an international
sports
event
, brings
reckognition
Correct your spelling
recognition
and attracts people. Let's take the
olympic
Change the capitalization
Olympic
show examples
games
for example
. With the latest games happening in Paris, the
country
experienced an increased number of tourists which meant that businesses
such
as hotels and restaurants were thriving and making more profit than usual.
This
can benefit the economy and
additionally
, with the games having to be broadcasted through social media and television, the city had to
undergone
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undergo
show examples
numerous renovations and changes to look as presentable to the public as possible.
For instance
, the river Seine had to be meticulously cleaned in order to allow the swimmers to participate safely.
On the other hand
, countries that want to
host
such
large scale
sports
event
, have to prepare all the
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
facilities and
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
for athletes and staff.
Furthermore
,
this
puts a huge financial strain on the economy of the state, and with the immense amount of
sports
and athletes, it is often required to build new stadiums or hotels. In the case of cleaning and preparing the river Seine, millions of euros had to be spent to make the quality of the water as safe as possible, only for five
swimmimg
Correct your spelling
swimming
events to take place in it. It is
therefore
a question whether a
country
is willing
fund
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to fund
show examples
and cover all the expenses of the
event
and if it is financially worth it. In my opinion, allowing popular
sports
events to take place in your city has its benefits when it comes to attracting tourists and showcasing a
country
's capability of being the
host
.
However
, the disadvantages and problems can be especially hard on the economy and if not managed properly, can cause more harm than good. In order for a
country
to
host
a
large scale
Add a hyphen
large-scale
show examples
sports
event
, there should be special precautions taken to ensure, that there are mainly benefits gained.
Submitted by Sof on

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Language
Consider using more varied sentence structures for greater fluency and readability. Occasional grammatical errors should be polished to improve clarity.
Content
Expand on both pros and cons with additional examples. Include more details to strengthen your argument further.
Coherence
Revisit some of the transitional phrases to ensure they effectively link all parts of the essay together, making the argument flow seamlessly.
Structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
Examples
You have effectively used examples, such as mentioning the Paris Olympic Games and the cleaning of the river Seine, which make your points more convincing.
Conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly encapsulates your opinion, reaffirming the argument presented in the body, which adds coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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