IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Private car ownership has been increasing over the past few decades. This has given ordinary people greater mobility, but has also led to concerns about traffic congestion and air pollution. Do the advantages of private car ownership outweigh the disadvantages?

#car #ownership #decades #people #mobility #concerns #traffic #congestion #air #pollution
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that personal vehicles have been rising over the past few decades.
This
 has given
common
Correct article usage
the common
show examples
 population larger mobility
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but has
also
 led to concerns related to increased emissions contributing to air pollution and traffic congestion. It is my belief that the positive effects of private car ownership certainly outweigh its disadvantages. The disadvantage of
this
 development is that environmental
such
 as air pollution could impact global warming because the air from using vehicles
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
increased carbon dioxide emissions.
Moreover
 , traffic congestion could make people
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
due to
 pressure from rush hours and most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people need to arrive on time. Despite
this
 , there are significant advantages it can bring to personal vehicles.
Firstly
 , Increased mobility
also
 independence for individuals.
This
 is because people could
managed
Change the verb form
manage
show examples
timetable
Correct pronoun usage
their timetable
show examples
 to travel by
self
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 and possibly go to
private
Add an article
a private
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 without
rely
Change the verb form
relying
show examples
 on public transport.
In addition
 to
this
 , on a wider level it may
also
social
Add a missing verb
be social
show examples
 benefits to visit family and friends including leisure activities with
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
.To illustrate , Taking
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
show examples
 more
easily
Replace the word
easier
show examples
to visit family or friends living a long distance
and
Rephrase
away and
show examples
joining
Wrong verb form
join
show examples
an activities
Correct the article-noun agreement
activities
an activity
show examples
 when they are started early or far away
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 urban. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
, I would
therefore
 argue that
although
 there are disadvantages of the current trend , they are outweighed by the advantages.
Submitted by somiesunicha.k on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Try to develop your main points with more specific and relevant examples. This will make your arguments more convincing and concrete.
coherence cohesion
Work on your transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help the reader to follow your argument more easily.
introduction conclusion
Your essay introduces the topic clearly and concludes effectively, summarizing your points.
task response
You have mentioned key points both for the advantages and disadvantages of private car ownership.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mobility
  • independence
  • economic benefits
  • automotive industry
  • convenience
  • commuting
  • leisure activities
  • social benefits
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • global warming
  • traffic congestion
  • urban areas
  • public infrastructure
  • maintenance
  • road safety
What to do next:
Look at other essays: