In the past, people lived in one place for a long time, but now they can live in many different places. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #place #time #places #development

Centruies

Correct your spelling

Centuries

ago,when

travel

facilities were only in

budding

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the budding

show examples

stage,

human

Correct article usage

the human

show examples

population stayed in

one

geographical location for

entire

Correct article usage

the entire

show examples

life-time

Correct your spelling

lifetime

show examples

Whereas

mobility

Correct article usage

the mobility

show examples

communiities

Correct your spelling

communities

rapidily

Correct your spelling

rapidly

evolving now.

One

can say that

this

is a positive

development

despite some deleterious effects of

this

migration.

This

essay examines the causes of

this

movement of

people

and why it is a

positve

Correct your spelling

positive

development

To begin

with,

first

Add an article

the first

show examples

and foremost reason for

people

travel

is that the distribution of the resources on the Earth is not uniform. When a community is saturated with population, the resources

are become

Change to the active voice

become

have become

show examples

scarce to thrive. So individuals with greater

potentials

Fix the agreement mistake

potential

show examples

start to think about exploring far places.

For example

, the

unemployement

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unemployment

in developing countries drives

people

to the West.

In addition

travel

facilities are much faster nowadays, which allows

Correct pronoun usage

us to

show examples

commute

safer

Replace the word

safely

show examples

and faster.

For instance

, long ago, only ships were used to reach far shores, which consumed a lot of time and

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

of the sailors

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

also

at risk. But air

travel

has revolutionised the movement now and

people

move easily to different places.

One

can easily consider

this

as a positive indicator

although

there are some negatives. The reason why it is so

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is that a mobile community adds variety which enables the community to grow as a whole rather than being stagnant.

People

from

differnt

Correct your spelling

different

places

nourishes

Change the verb form

nourish

show examples

the culture. The best example of

this

Britian

Correct your spelling

Britain

Migrant

Add an article

The migrant

show examples

workforce has given

all inclusive

Add a hyphen

all-inclusive

show examples

work culture in their NHS.

Hence

one

can say that it is a positive

development

To conclude

, mankind has always been wandering to find

Change the article

the

show examples

best location to live

Change preposition

show examples

, and in

contemporary

Add an article

the contemporary

show examples

world, it has sped up a lot. It is a positive

development

and should be encouraged.

Submitted by krishnabalu1984 on Tue Aug 13 2024

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Grammar

Avoid spelling and typographical errors. Examples include: 'Centruies' instead of 'centuries', 'unemployement' instead of 'unemployment', 'communities' instead of 'communiities', and 'positive' instead of 'positve'.

Coherence

Work on sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences and improve clarity. For instance, 'Moreover, rapid transportation advancements and globalization have significantly contributed to people's ability to live and work in different places.'

Task Response

Provide more specific examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments. Instead of saying 'Migrant workforce has given all inclusive work culture in their NHS,' you might say, 'For example, in the UK, the influx of skilled migrant workers has filled gaps in the healthcare sector, significantly improving service delivery in the National Health Service (NHS).'

Task Achievement

The essay addresses the topic well and provides a balanced view on the movement of people and its effects.

Coherence

The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for the essay.

Coherence

The main points are logical and relevant to the essay topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the past, people lived in one place for a long time, but now they can live in many different places. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that it's easier for adults to learn skills (Ex: Computer skills) by themselves. Others think they need the help of a teacher in a classroom. Discuss both views and give your opinion as well.

Some are of the opinion that people are naturally born as good leaders while others feel that leadership skills can be learned.Discusd both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists.Others, however,believe that it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some believe governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways, while some think money should be spent improving public transportation, such as buses, trains, and subways. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.