Some children spend hours every day on their smartphone. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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this

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modern society, technology has significantly changed

people

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’s lives. Some

people

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believe that some young

people

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spend more time on their mobile phones daily. In

this

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essay, I will explain the various negative statements and explain why I support my opinion with examples.

Firstly

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, one prominent reason is technology improvements. To illustrate

this

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nowadays there are many game features added on the latest smartphones

such

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as Candy Crush, Temple Run and PUBG. these games are specially designed for

children

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Therefore

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, young

people

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spend more hours on their mobile.

For example

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, In India, a boy called Rahul committed suicide because of a game named Blue Whale and it affected most of the young

people

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in that country.

On the other hand

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, youngsters are affected by health issues and wasting their time briefly in

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modern era, most schools have changed to online study systems

due to

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COVID-19 and still they continue it.

Thus

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, most

children

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are addicted to their phones and the affected by health causes

such

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as eye problems and reduced memory power.

For instance

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, in China the open university students did research regarding

children

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spend how many hours every day on their smartphone. The results were there are 75% of

children

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used it more than 5 hours a day. and 25% of them are affected by visualization problems. In conclusion,

while

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it is true there are positive statements like technology improvements, the negatives

such

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children

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being affected by health issues and wasting their time are undeniable.

Therefore

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, I strongly believe the negatives far outweigh the positives.

shruthiudhai7Tue Aug 13 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding on your arguments and examples to provide a more comprehensive response to the essay prompt.

coherence cohesion

Be sure to proofread your essay for minor errors in grammar, punctuation, and word choice to improve clarity and precision.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion effectively.

task achievement

Relevant examples are used to support the points made, contributing to the overall argument.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Engrossed
Distracted
Addictive
Digital natives
Virtual reality
Interactive
Online gaming
Social media platforms
Connectivity
Social engagement
Information access
Learning tools
Peer influence
Societal pressure
Alternative activities
Recreational facilities

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