Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

University
students
have different views on whether they should focus on a certain subject or learn other
subjects
beyond the major. I believe the question of what to learn in school depends on the situation, there are advantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
both thoughts. In my
opinoin
Correct your spelling
opinion
, there are some university
students
who dislike their major or
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
in many
subjects
want
Correct word choice
and want
show examples
to learn as much as they can in the school days. The cost of trying in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school is the cheapest and the benefits are far from our imagination,
such
as avoiding
regretness
Correct your spelling
regrets
regretless
and combining the knowledge from different aspects to create their own career path.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, boundaries between
subjects
do not exist, people complete their learning by consuming thoughts and ideas
come
Correct pronoun usage
that come
show examples
from
other area
Change the wording
another area
other areas
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some
students
are gifted in a specific field so they should concentrate on it to be
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
in that area.
For example
, my sister who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
talented only in the language put all of her time and attention into it and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
professional after
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduating
show examples
.
Additionally
,
students
in those majors asked for a certificate should give all their heart to the subject. Some
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society require
specialist
Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
such
as doctors are highly
commend
Verb problem
recommended
show examples
to focus on their major to ensure they are qualified to save
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
lives. In conclusion, one or more
subjects
to learn depends on the circumstances the
students
are in.
Students
can choose whether to focus on a specific subject to become an expert or give their time and concentrate on several aspects to create their own life.
Submitted by 10youting01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide more specific and detailed examples to clearly illustrate your points. This can help to make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that ideas are logically connected.
overall
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to avoid small inaccuracies that can affect the overall impression of your writing.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion by considering both views on the topic, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and relevant, helping to frame your argument well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: