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Band 6

some people say that art subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #art #subjects #school #students
Some people hold the view that art subjects including painting and drawing are unnecessary to learning at high school. From my observation, I suppose that drawing is optional for youth
while
 they have to learn many important academic disciplines, which I will discuss in
this
 essay. First of all, there are a lot of benefits from learning painting, one of them is
this
 subject can improve artistic meaning so they can
also
 know about artistic value.
Besides
 that, the young generation will recognize artistic talents,
this
 factor can help the young generation choose the right jobs in the future. Alternatively, I hold a strong belief that pupils needn’t learn drawing or painting because it can waste of time
instead
 they can spend more time to search information for other school subjects to have good marks.
Moreover
, youngsters have too much homework to do and if art subjects have other tasks to do, they will be stressed out.
Instead
, schools should have more outdoor activities for youngsters to increase their communication skills.
Last
 but not least, only students who own artistic talents feel excited when learning
this
 subject but the others will have a bored feeling because they don’t want to pay attention to drawing.
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses both sides of the argument, it would be beneficial to include a conclusion to summarize your stance and main points.
task achievement
You should aim to provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, mention specific skills gained from art or cite studies about the benefits/downsides of compulsory art education.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs for better coherence. Use clear topic sentences and appropriate linking words or phrases.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point that is sufficiently supported. This will enhance the structure and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of making art subjects compulsory in high school.
coherence cohesion
The language used is clear and easy to understand, which makes the essay easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • emotional intelligence
  • express themselves
  • compulsory
  • hidden talents
  • detract
  • core subjects
  • inclination
  • stressful
  • unproductive
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • universal appeal
  • cultural education
  • diverse backgrounds
  • standardized testing
  • academic performance
  • quality
  • creativity
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