Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words.

#people #choices

Nowadays, social science is more and more developed, the world is becoming more modern and rich.

Therefore

, today we humans have many

choices

, for me I partly agree with it because

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

rich

people

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will have more

choices

while

poor

people

only have one choice. On the one hand,

for

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the rich,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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will have many

choices

for example

, when going to the hospital,

instead

of choosing ordinary services, they will have many

choices

such

as not having to wait in line for a long time to get a number to see a doctor, they will go to a higher floor, there will be good service, everything will be handled quickly.

In addition

, when they travel, they can choose a good hotel, a hotel with super good facilities and services so that they can enjoy a wonderful trip. They can

experience

what they want to accumulate for themselves their experiences, knowledge, and happiness.

On the other hand

for

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those who do not have the same conditions as the rich,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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will not have many

choices

but

instead

only have one choice. They are

people

who do not have many

choices

, so when choosing something, they will look and choose very carefully, and the first thing they prioritize when choosing is the item or service with a cheap price.

For example

Correct word choice

when

show examples

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

, the rich choose places with high prices, good services, or accommodation,

while

the poor choose places with low prices and tourist destinations that have good prices for them. In conclusion, I want to say that

people

today have many

choices

only for the rich, but

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

those who do not have the conditions,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will have very few

choices

However

, that does not mean that their lives become unhappy, or do not have the

experience

like the rich. Anyway, they will

experience

the way the poor have. They will still be happy with their family and their life, and it is because of that poverty that they always find ways to enjoy and

experience

the life they have so as not to fall behind society.

Submitted by jakelong16091994 on Wed Aug 14 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs so that the flow of ideas is more seamless. For example, using linking phrases like 'Furthermore', 'In addition', or 'Moreover' could be helpful.

task achievement

The essay could be improved by developing arguments further and providing a more balanced view. Try to explore the topic from multiple perspectives and provide a more nuanced discussion with more detailed examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which is important for structuring the essay.

task achievement

The main points are sufficiently supported with relevant examples, and there are specific scenarios to illustrate the arguments.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

348 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

overwhelmed
decision fatigue
paralysis by analysis
consumerism
globalization
personal autonomy
market saturation
option overload
decision-making process
psychological well-being
buyer's remorse
customization
trade-offs
minimalism
information superhighway

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