IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#everybody #amount #income #support #charity
Many non-governmental organizations aim to support marginalised communities. Working adults must give some part of their
earning
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earnings
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 for
this
 cause.
This
 essay agrees with the aforementioned view and
give
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gives
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 reasons for it. Inflation
is increases
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is increasing
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 across the globe and
this
 is the most conspicuous reason
for
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apply
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why people should denote money,
due to
 the rise in prices for normal items, poor communities
left
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are left
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 to struggle to meet their basic needs,
therefore
, marginalized regions of India lack sufficient food, health care, education which result in high mortality and illiteracy rate.
Moreover
,
non-government
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a non-government
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 organization
such
 as
UN
Correct article usage
the UN
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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runs solely on
the
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apply
show examples
donations,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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fulfil the need of these groups and run educational programs to educate children which fosters a sense of relief for them. Another telling aspect of compulsory donation is to
provides
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provide
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 support for research and development on
health care
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healthcare
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 subjects as the world witnessed
horrific
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the horrific
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 side of
covid-19
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COVID-19
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 which impacted every sector ranging from healthcare to agriculture,
besides
 that Aids and cancer are still
primary
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the primary
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cause
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causes
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 for
majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of deaths worldwide. Research allows to unfold many reasons for the occurrence of disease, studies help to create awareness among
general
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the general
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 population like washing hands before eating will prevent germs
to travel
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from traveling
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 in your body, and
finally
, allows
pharmacist
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pharmacists
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 to create medicines which hamper the growth of numerous life-threatening diseases, and the outcome will reduce the mortality rate.
To conclude
, donating money is a key component for transforming the improvised communities
similarly
, statistics from research can shape better healthcare for everyone.
Submitted by ali695313 on

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introduction conclusion
The introduction should provide a clearer overview of the issue before stating the thesis. Also, avoid using phrases like 'aforementioned'—more natural language is preferable.
logical structure
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to enhance logical structure. Additionally, consider using more transition words for smoother flow between ideas.
relevant specific examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will provide a more compelling and concrete response to the task.
supported main points
The essay effectively covers two main points, supporting charity for marginalized communities and the importance of research and development in healthcare.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, making it easy to follow the writer's line of reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic equality
  • Wealth gap
  • Redistributing resources
  • Social responsibility
  • Mandatory donations
  • Financial strain
  • Voluntary donations
  • Morality
  • Ethics
  • Efficient use of resources
  • Sporadic contributions
  • Implementation challenges
  • Compliance
  • Fixed amount
What to do next:
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