IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

In your article, say whether or not people should set personal goals, giving reasons for your views.

#article #people #goals
I recently heard a podcast on the subject of setting personal
goals
. I personally think that having
goals
 and
archiving
Verb problem
achieving
show examples
 them is a good thing. But you shouldn’t let that just be your whole life. Sometimes you should spend time with your friends and family. In the podcast I heard that it’s easy to have
goals
 but harder to achieve them” But I disagree with
this
 kind of Because of
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
 technology
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 way easier there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 people to help you
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 your
goals
. But of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
 you have to actually work hard and
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 in
your self
Correct your spelling
yourself
show examples
. There is a lot of pressure
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 for the young ones when trying to reach your
goals
. But in the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
 it will all be worth it.
Submitted by maryamshafeeq on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve your task response, make sure you provide a more complete and well-rounded response to the prompt. Include both supporting and opposing viewpoints to show a balanced argument.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are clearly presented and adequately supported with specific examples and explanations. This makes your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your essay. Having clear paragraphs with topic sentences can help the reader follow your argument smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and a conclusion to structure your essay well. The introduction should set up the topic and state your thesis, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position on the issue.
task achievement
Your essay shows a clear personal perspective, which makes it engaging and relatable.
coherence cohesion
You provide several points about the importance of setting goals and balancing it with other aspects of life, which makes your argument multifaceted.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: