As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Nowadays, the utilization of cyberspace has
growing
more and more prevalent, Change the verb form
grown
some
people perceive that Correct word choice
and some
newspapers
are gradually turning into an
outdated Correct article usage
apply
item
. I reckon that Fix the agreement mistake
items
this
is an inevitable trend because many of its functions has
been replaced by the Change the verb form
have
Internet
and it is not healthful keeping
reading Wrong verb form
to keep
on
Change preposition
apply
newspapers
.
Firstly
, newspapers
no more
provide as many functions as we used to use Rephrase
longer
it
. We used to receive daily news from it, Correct pronoun usage
them
nevertheless
, the way we learn about new informations
has changed, with a Change the wording
information
pieces of information
smart phone
, we are able to update things that happen in our Correct your spelling
smartphone
live
anytime and anywhere we want. Replace the word
lives
Furthermore
, instead
of seeking jobs from
Change preposition
in
newspapers
, people these days seek jobs online, which offers more options and convenience. These positives
features of the Change the noun form
positive
Internet
outweigh the role newspapers
played
in our Wrong verb form
play
live
.
Replace the word
lives
Secondly
, the ink that is
used on
Change preposition
in
newspapers
poses potential threats on
our health. Studies Change preposition
to
has
shown that ink can be poisonous to our body and surroundings Change the verb form
have
due to
the lead it contains. Lead can cause metal toxicity, in the long term, this
not only affect people who wok
in newspaper factories but Correct your spelling
work
also
those who read newspapers
everyday
. Replace the word
every day
Besides
, volatiles
of burning Correct article usage
the volatiles
newspapers
emit into the air we breath
, Replace the word
breathe
hence
, poison come
back to us again. Change the verb form
comes
This
harmful byproduct of ink forms chronic damages
in our body.
In conclusion, the Fix the agreement mistake
damage
emerge
of the Replace the word
emergence
Internet
is a much better option than newspaper
for us Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
on
many aspects. The Change preposition
in
Internet
benefits us on
gaining knowledge virtually and prevents us from touching toxic chemicals physically. I deem that Change preposition
in
newspapers
is
behind the times and it is a good thing that it becomes a thing of the past.Change the verb form
are
Submitted by wendy190427 on
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task achievement
Try to address both sides of the argument to present a balanced view. Mention some arguments for why some people might still prefer newspapers.
task achievement
In your arguments, use more detailed examples to support your points. This will make your response more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that each idea transitions smoothly to the next. Using linking words and phrases will help create a more cohesive structure.
overall score
There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be improved for better readability and precision.
task achievement
You have effectively introduced the topic and clearly stated your position on the subject.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You provide clear reasoning for why the Internet is more favorable compared to newspapers.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example