IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016.

The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016.
#value #country’s #exports #categories
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bar chart
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrates
show examples
 information about  exporting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
products
,
such
 as earnings 
between
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the time period
one
Change preposition
of one
show examples
year
.     At one glance,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Pedroleum
Correct your spelling
Petroleum
products
 and Engineered goods were the most exported in both
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
, except Gems and
Jewellary
Correct your spelling
Jewellery
, Agricultural
products
 and Textiles, as these figures showed
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 lowest percentage.    To clearly
seen
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
 that, In
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2015,
Pedroleum
Correct your spelling
petroleum
products
 accounted for exactly 60$, and after one
year
,
It was
Verb problem
it
show examples
 slightly
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
just
Change preposition
by just
show examples
 about 63$.The fraction of Engineered goods started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 nearly 57$
while
, In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2016
year
, It saw a rise
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
show examples
 62$.      
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, The figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Gems and
Jewellary
Correct your spelling
jewellery
 was slightly higher rather than
other kind
Change the wording
another kind
other kinds
show examples
 of
products
, which were roughly 43$ at the
begin
Replace the word
beginning
show examples
 of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
, but In the
year
 2016,it was a little
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 40$.Agricultural
products
were remaining
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 the same  in the both of
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
. The Textile
products
 underwent a 25$ and
finally
,It increased at 32$
Submitted by shakhzod0905 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words products, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: