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Band 5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
These days, many advertisements focus on emphasising that the
products
 are new. Even though It is helpful to catch
people
's attention, I believe it can make the opposite respond. In
this
 essay, I will discuss why many companies focus on emphasising “new” and show my opinion. First of all, the reason why the emphasis is on the word “new” is because it is eye-catching among a number of advertisements. The more competition
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 advertising is getting fierce, the harder it is to catch the consumer’s interest.
Consumers
 tend to react to something new because
people
 have a desire and curiosity about new things. Eventually,
consumer's
Change noun form
consumer
show examples
 interest and curiosity lead
people
 to visit the shop.
Moreover
, focusing on “new” can give
consumers
 a positive
brand’s
Change noun form
brand
show examples
 image. To make something new the
company
 has to keep innovating and developing their
products
.
Besides
, to make it better the brand has to observe
consumers
. It makes a good impression that the
company
 keeps progressing and listening to consumer’s voices.
Finally
, the positive
brand’s
Change noun form
brand
show examples
 image can drive
consumers
 to buy their
products
.
However
, I believe there are a few negative effects that could be involved. As the competition
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 advertising is getting aggressive, the term “new” is abused. It becomes not special but rather ordinary.
This
 way of advertising does not work anymore and
then
 the
company
 has to find another way to make advertisement effective.
Furthermore
,
overuse
Correct article usage
the overuse
show examples
 of the concept of new makes
consumers
 hard to believe.
For example
, Apple always advertises that the new IOS came out but it barely changed.
Everytime
Replace the word
Every time
show examples
 the product is a little bit changed
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
pretend it is a huge innovation. It could make
consumers
 tired and distrustful.
Therefore
, it is really important to know how often to use the term for new. In conclusion, emphasising that their
products
 are new is becoming a trend and getting common. It stands out to
people
 and works to make a positive
brand’s
Change noun form
brand
show examples
 impression. In my opinion, overuse of the word will
finally
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
 opposite effects
such
 as ineffectiveness and mistrust.
Therefore
, the
company
 should use the word in a wise way.
Submitted by jyy990608 on

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task achievement
Your essay is generally well-structured and addresses the task effectively, but make sure to include more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows well and is logically structured. However, work on some phrase repetitions and slight grammar inaccuracies to improve coherence and cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion, setting a clear direction for the essay.
logical structure
The main points are relevant and well-supported by logical reasoning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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