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Band 4

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #diet #outweigh
The consumption of
vegetables
 and fruits
are
Verb problem
has
show examples
 gradually increased in some parts of the
worlds
Fix the agreement mistake
world
show examples
.
That is
, individuals are looking for
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 healthy
diet
. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
 way(trend) is more beneficial for humanity and wildlife which (that)
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
its drawback.
Firstly
, the digestion system in our
humans'
Change noun form
humans
show examples
 bodies suffers the lower pressure in
vegetarian
Correct article usage
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
 in comparison to
normal
Add an article
a normal
the normal
show examples
diet
 which includes meat. In fact,
vegetables
 are absorbed quickly though the meat remains in
stomach
Correct article usage
the stomach
show examples
 and intestines for a long time, and its metabolism needs more carbohydrates
as well
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
.
Thus
,
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 being body should be more active to be able to handle
this
 process.
Furthermore
, vegetation leads to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
 the rights of
animals
 rather than the past.
For example
, vegetarians
eager
Add a missing verb
are eager
show examples
 to
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
animals
not
Correct word choice
and not
show examples
 to use their products and even their furs
for earning
Change preposition
to earn
show examples
 money.
It is clear that
 everybody needs
proteins
 from
animals
 and
vegetables
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
none of
them
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
are produce
Change the verb form
are produced
are producing
show examples
 automatically in
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body.
For instance
,
proteins
 are part of
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 structures of cells and
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
 of them interrupts basic functions. A person can consume fruit and
vegetables
 provided that he/ she
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 able to use some extra protein supplements which consist of animal
proteins
. In conclusion,
although
 following
vegetarian
Correct article usage
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
 may create basic problems
such
 as, deistical and lack of animal
proteins
 for
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
, their advantages likely bring
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 life for a vegetarian person and
also
animals
.
Submitted by raha.roham1994 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the given task by examining both the advantages and disadvantages of following a vegetarian diet. However, try to provide more concrete examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your logical flow from one idea to the next is natural and smooth. Consider using cohesive devices such as 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' or 'On the other hand' for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which gives your essay a complete structure.
task achievement
The essay mostly provides clear ideas and arguments for the topic, highlighting both the benefits and the potential drawbacks of a vegetarian diet.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Vegetarian diet
  • Chronic diseases
  • Carbon footprint
  • Deforestation
  • Animal welfare
  • Nutritional deficiencies
  • Balanced intake
  • Societal norms
  • Meat-dominant
  • Sustainable living
  • Plant-based proteins
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