Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Whether it is the role of
parents
or teachers
to shape students
into good citizens of a country has sparked a
considerable debate. Correct article usage
apply
This
essay will discuss both views, and I personally think that parents
have a more significant responsibility because they are the immediate caregivers and spend a lot of time
daily with them.
It is commonly understood that teachers
are people whose main task is to educate pupils when they are in school. They are professionally trained to teach and have many effective techniques to impart necessary skills and knowledge to students
in order for them to become good citizens. For example
, to become a secondary school teacher in Cambodia, one must go through a 4-years training to gain pedagogical skills and content knowledge to teach students
. However
, I believe that parents
have a more important role in teaching children
to distinguish between right and wrongdoings.
Parents
,
considered the first Remove the comma
apply
teachers
of children
, have been encouraged to spend more time
educating their own children
on how to behave properly in society because they are the primary caregivers and have plenty of time
to interact with them. Provided that they spend adequate time
teaching the children
, it is believed that they will be able to strive and become quality human resources for the country. For instance
, many working mothers in Cambodia decide to take long leave from their jobs and spend as much time
as possible with their young child
in order to ensure they have a memorable childhood. I believe Fix the agreement mistake
children
this
is one of the correct ways to rear children
as parents
are the most significant persons who can remarkably influence the way children
behave.
In conclusion, although
teachers
are obligated to teach students
how to behave positively in society, I think parents
should be the key individuals to mould children
into well-rounded citizens because they are the guardians of the children
and they have more time
to spend with them, compared to teachers
.Submitted by emteeme on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that topic sentences clearly state the main point of each paragraph to improve logical structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, addressing both views and presenting the writer's opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a cohesive framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant and specific examples to support the main points, though further elaboration would be beneficial.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite