Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Whether it is the role of
parents
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or
teachers
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to shape
students
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into good citizens of a country has sparked
a
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apply
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considerable debate.
This
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essay will discuss both views, and I personally think that
parents
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have a more significant responsibility because they are the immediate caregivers and spend a lot of
time
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daily with them. It is commonly understood that
teachers
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are people whose main task is to educate pupils when they are in school. They are professionally trained to teach and have many effective techniques to impart necessary skills and knowledge to
students
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in order for them to become good citizens.
For example
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, to become a secondary school teacher in Cambodia, one must go through a 4-years training to gain pedagogical skills and content knowledge to teach
students
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.
However
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, I believe that
parents
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have a more important role in teaching
children
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to distinguish between right and wrongdoings.
Parents
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,
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considered the first
teachers
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of
children
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, have been encouraged to spend more
time
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educating their own
children
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on how to behave properly in society because they are the primary caregivers and have plenty of
time
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to interact with them. Provided that they spend adequate
time
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teaching the
children
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, it is believed that they will be able to strive and become quality human resources for the country.
For instance
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, many working mothers in Cambodia decide to take long leave from their jobs and spend as much
time
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as possible with their young
child
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children
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in order to ensure they have a memorable childhood. I believe
this
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is one of the correct ways to rear
children
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as
parents
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are the most significant persons who can remarkably influence the way
children
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behave. In conclusion,
although
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teachers
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are obligated to teach
students
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how to behave positively in society, I think
parents
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should be the key individuals to mould
children
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into well-rounded citizens because they are the guardians of the
children
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and they have more
time
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to spend with them, compared to
teachers
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.
Submitted by emteeme on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that topic sentences clearly state the main point of each paragraph to improve logical structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, addressing both views and presenting the writer's opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a cohesive framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant and specific examples to support the main points, though further elaboration would be beneficial.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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