Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Whether it is the role of
parents
or
teachers
to shape
students
into good citizens of a country has sparked
a
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considerable debate.
This
essay will discuss both views, and I personally think that
parents
have a more significant responsibility because they are the immediate caregivers and spend a lot of
time
daily with them. It is commonly understood that
teachers
are people whose main task is to educate pupils when they are in school. They are professionally trained to teach and have many effective techniques to impart necessary skills and knowledge to
students
in order for them to become good citizens.
For example
, to become a secondary school teacher in Cambodia, one must go through a 4-years training to gain pedagogical skills and content knowledge to teach
students
.
However
, I believe that
parents
have a more important role in teaching
children
to distinguish between right and wrongdoings.
Parents
,
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considered the first
teachers
of
children
, have been encouraged to spend more
time
educating their own
children
on how to behave properly in society because they are the primary caregivers and have plenty of
time
to interact with them. Provided that they spend adequate
time
teaching the
children
, it is believed that they will be able to strive and become quality human resources for the country.
For instance
, many working mothers in Cambodia decide to take long leave from their jobs and spend as much
time
as possible with their young
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
in order to ensure they have a memorable childhood. I believe
this
is one of the correct ways to rear
children
as
parents
are the most significant persons who can remarkably influence the way
children
behave. In conclusion,
although
teachers
are obligated to teach
students
how to behave positively in society, I think
parents
should be the key individuals to mould
children
into well-rounded citizens because they are the guardians of the
children
and they have more
time
to spend with them, compared to
teachers
.
Submitted by emteeme on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that topic sentences clearly state the main point of each paragraph to improve logical structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, addressing both views and presenting the writer's opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a cohesive framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant and specific examples to support the main points, though further elaboration would be beneficial.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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