The best way / the only way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that donating six years of free
education
is not the most optimal solution to decrease poverty in developing nations. In my own opinion, I would not consider myself an advocate of this
idea.
Without a shadow of a doubt, fundamental knowledge is of the essence and providing free education
with basic literacy and numeracy skills can bring positive redeeming features for residents in developing countries. However
, its redeeming features cannot outweigh that of supplying career courses
. The inadequate citizens can revamp their financial ability if they participate in some of various
career Add an article
the various
courses
that are supplied by the government.
To be more specific, different courses
like weaving, engineering or cooking can be cited as the
outstanding examples Correct article usage
apply
for
classes that are easy to host. Even though the fundamental knowledge is limited, those Change preposition
of
courses
which are offered by the authority
still can provide themFix the agreement mistake
authorities
a
manual job and Add the preposition
with a
the
Correct article usage
apply
income making
ability. Meanwhile, after finishing six years of basic classes, civilians need to use their own money in order to pay for Add a hyphen
income-making
further
education
if they want to land a decent job with a high salary.
With the income that comes from manual jobs, an individual can pay themselves and provide finance for their families. Furthermore
, they can contribute to their country’s coffers. In conclusion, beside
giving away free Replace the word
besides
education
for six years, holding various classes of manual labor
is Change the spelling
labour
also
a way to increase the national budget of a developing country that the government can consider.Submitted by hominhtrang995 on
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task achievement
While the essay addresses the prompt, it's important to strengthen the task response by providing a more balanced view. Consider discussing potential drawbacks of career courses and weighing them against the benefits of six years of free education.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to clarify the connection between each main point and the central argument. This will help make your points more compelling and easier to follow.
task achievement
The essay could benefit from more specific examples and detailed illustrations to fully support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, but they could be more compelling. In the introduction, briefly outline the points you will discuss. In the conclusion, you may want to reiterate your main arguments and provide a final thought or recommendation.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
Your main points are relevant and address different aspects of the topic, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.