Should Children be encouraged to be competitive in sports and other activities? Or is it better for them to learn the benefits of co-operating with other people? Discuss both these views and give your own answer.

There are many different opinions about
encouraged
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
children to be competitive or co-operating. In my
mind
, both of them
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their lives and developing
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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, but I believe being
co-operative
Correct your spelling
cooperative
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outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
competitive. Being
co-operative
Correct your spelling
cooperative
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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people to get
along with
each other easily. When you gather competitive people they only think about how they become the best person
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
group
and they don’t think about
this
if all of us become the best what
happen
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happens
show examples
. In developed
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
you need professionals who are
co-operative
Correct your spelling
cooperative
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. that means they can work as
team
Add an article
a team
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to achieve goals. There is no me in that kind of
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
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the most important thing in that
group
is how we can achieve our goal. All the team is
caregiver
Fix the agreement mistake
caregivers
show examples
and more or less they want to help others. If your experts don’t want to work as
team
Add an article
a team
show examples
or want to work
lonely
Correct your spelling
alone
show examples
there is no way to achieve the goals. Maybe is there a chance but it takes so long to process. But
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the other hand, competitive minds have their own benefits which could not be included in
co-operative
Add an article
the co-operative
a co-operative
show examples
. Competitive humans, think
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the best and fastest way to achieve
the
Change the word
their
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goals so they will be the first
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
who achieve
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. They want to be the best person in the
group
and
this
attitude
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other folks to develop their self to become more and more practical.
Co-operative
Correct determiner usage
A cooperative
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mind
and
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
show examples
mind
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
their own advantages and disadvantages to
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
or society and we need both. But if you want
chose
Change the verb form
to choose
show examples
which one is more important and has more impact, I say Co-operative
mind
.
Submitted by ramenosko on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view which is crucial for this type of task.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
The main points are supported in general, providing a good structure to the essay.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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