Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
of people believe that the best
way
to feel happy for youngsters is to choose a profession which they like,
whereas
others tend to think that it is better to develop in the field which is demanded in the job market. Though some jobs always are marketable, I tend to think that anybody gets the best results in a field they are obsessed
.
Change preposition
with.
show examples
First and foremost,
nevertheless
, life rapidly changes, and some occupations are always popular. If to be more precise and look at the healthcare industry, the doctor is a respected and constantly required job.
For example
nowadays in the visa center of Germany in Baku, there is a poster where healthcare specialists are invited to work in different locations of Germany. Many doctors take
this
advantage and move to other countries with the aim of gaining experience and prospects in future.
Thus
realistic approach
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
career choice gives more chances to be needed.
On the other hand
, some people live with dreams. They from childhood visualise their dream work and live with it. I personally know
this
person who is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
friend of mine. Though her parents insisted she be an engineer and follow their path, she decided to be an actress. She faced and overcame many difficulties until she reached her goal. Today she is a well-known actress in Azerbaijan, quite successful and has a second job as a dance teacher. Whenever I see her she is always happy and shares details of her bright and interesting life. As a result, following your heart in a professional
way
is the best
way
to be happy. In conclusion,
although
there are a lot of jobs which are coveted, any person should follow his dream in choosing his line of work, because
this
is the best
way
of being happy.
Submitted by nairaaliyarova on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and well-articulated, which frames the essay effectively.
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The essay includes relevant examples that support the main points, making your arguments more tangible.
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Your discussion of both perspectives showcases a balanced understanding of the topic, which is crucial for a well-rounded response.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • skill development
  • market demands
  • financial stability
  • career growth
  • job security
  • income level
  • fulfilling professional life
  • personal happiness
  • career counseling
  • job market trends
  • adaptability
  • work-life balance
  • health implications
  • job automation
  • redundancy
  • emerging technologies
  • stable employment
  • motivated
  • competent
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