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Band 4

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or digsagree ?,

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax #digsagree
Nowadays, in several nations
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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been rising common of population
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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trouble
Wrong verb form
troubled
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from
Change preposition
by
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 health issues
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 of over-consumption
junk
Change preposition
of junk
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 food. Since
importantly
Change the word
important
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 higher tax
of
Change preposition
on
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 junk food by the government. In my opinion , I strongly agree with
this
 statement, and the following will be provided to support
from
Change preposition
apply
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my view.
To begin
 with
Inaddidtion
Correct your spelling
In addition
Submitted by somiesunicha.k on

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay should clearly introduce the topic and outline your main points in the introduction. This will help the reader understand the direction your essay is going to take.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your ideas are logically organized. Each idea should flow smoothly to the next.
supported main points
Use supporting details and examples to develop your main points and strengthen your argument. This will make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on writing more grammatically correct and complex sentences. Check for sentence fragments and awkward phrasing.
topic choice
You have an interesting topic that addresses a relevant societal issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public health
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Heart disease
  • Consumption
  • Revenue
  • Healthcare costs
  • Personal freedom
  • Public campaigns
  • Economic impact
  • Social inequity
  • Affordability
  • Accessibility
  • Awareness campaigns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: