As water is valuable resource, governments all over the world should control how much water their citizens use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
these
dyas
Correct your spelling
days

If you don’t want dyas to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
technology has been developing and our lifestyles are so diverse from the past;
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we use a lot of
water
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

today and it is a big matter which it is important that
govrnments controle
Correct your spelling
governments control

The words govrnments controle seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

inhabitants'
uasage
Correct your spelling
usage

If you don’t want uasage to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

water
Change preposition
of water

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
. I subscribe
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Change preposition
to this

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
idea owing to the fact that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

resourse
Correct your spelling
resource

If you don’t want resourse to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

will be the people who live in
future
Correct article usage
the future

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
inheritance
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, less
water
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
a lot of effect
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
our foods and health. On the one hand, if we do not save
water
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources

It seems that resource may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
,
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

our children will not
utilaize
Correct your spelling
utilise

If you don’t want utilaize to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

so much
water
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

;
as a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they will not be able to improve their industries
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that the comma after such as is unnecessary. Consider removing it.

show examples
power planets ,which need
water
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

vapor
Change the spelling
vapour

The spelling of vapor is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
for generating electricity, refineries, and other things.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
their
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
do not good
climet
Correct your spelling
climate

If you don’t want climet to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and environment
inas
Correct your spelling
as

If you don’t want inas to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

much as these items need
water
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
complate
Correct your spelling
complete

If you don’t want complate to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

their cyrculation and if do not
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
their curculation destroyed, it will
be have
Change the verb form
have

It appears that the form of the verb have does not work with be in this sentence.

show examples
bad effects
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
population lives.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, our food
dependet
Correct your spelling
depends

If you don’t want dependet to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

from
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
water
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In
fact
Add a comma
fact,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In fact. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
when we do not
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
water
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

we cannot farm;
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
famine
happened
Wrong verb form
happens

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb happened. Consider changing it.

show examples
and the fight will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb be appears to be unnecessary here.

show examples
start.
In other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, our basic meals
are come
Change to the active voice
come
have come

It appears you have attempted to use the intransitive verb come in a passive voice construction. Consider writing the sentence in the active voice.

show examples
from rice, which
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs

It seems that the verb need does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
a lot of
water
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for growing
Change preposition
to grow

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
, and wheat;
additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, our body
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs

It seems that the verb need does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
fruit and vegetables
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
becom haelthy
Correct your spelling
become healthy

The words becom haelthy seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

and all these things need
water
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for growing
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we use meat of animals which they need
water
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and vegetation for growing;
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, surviving us combined with
water
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

crucial that
athourities
Correct your spelling
authorities

If you don’t want athourities to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

have some
plane
Correct your spelling
plans

The word plane doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
save
water
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sources like
controle
Correct your spelling
controlling

If you don’t want controle to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

their
citizens
Change to a genitive case
citizen's
citizens'

It appears that the word citizens should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

show examples
water
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

usage on account of the fact that we and the
communies
Correct your spelling
communities

If you don’t want communies to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

who live in the future need
water
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
live.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and link your ideas more effectively using transition words. For instance, 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Finally,' might help organize your points better.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task achievement, provide more detailed and relevant specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
task achievement
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly. Some sentences are complex and could be simplified. For instance, 'In addition, their do not good climet and environment inas much as these items need water for complate their cyrculation' can be rewritten as 'Moreover, the climate and environment would deteriorate without sufficient water to complete necessary cycles.'
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance on why you agree that governments should control water usage.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps provide a complete structure to your essay.
task achievement
You offer a reasonable rationale for why controlling water usage is important, such as future inheritance, food dependency, and health impacts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: