Young people have been gradually far away from reading stories since they have access to a huge range of stories online in the form of video games or movies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
It is argued that nowadays, adolescents have been playing
video
games
and watching movies more than reading books about them.I totally agree with this
since it is more
convenient way to receive information and available.
It is obvious that reading a book requires more effort than watching or playing.Add an article
a more
While
reading, you have to put effort in order to understand the story and imagine what is
character doing or how the places look like and so on.Correct article usage
the is
Whereas
,
watching Remove the comma
apply
films
does not require you to put effort on
them, you already have everything in one place,amalgamated together,all you need is just click the "play" button.Change preposition
into
On the other hand
, we have got games
,where the situation is better.Obviously, almost every youngster would prefer playing a videogames
to reading since it seems more enjoyable as they can interact with a virtual world and finish the game by being fully involved.
And Correct the article-noun agreement
videogames
a videogame
it is clear that
in the modern world
young people have access to those Add a comma
world,
conents
absolutely free and easily compared to the previous 5 decades.In Correct your spelling
contents
comments
films
case,you can go on Google or other web browsers and search for the name of a movie you would like to watch,and it gives you so many results that provide you free watching.Fix the agreement mistake
film
However
,not every video
game is free but it is totally free to watch its playthrough on video
hostings such
as YouTube and Rutube.Although
we cannot do the same things to books,even if you have a chance to borrow them in
a library,they do not provide as much freedom as Change preposition
from
films
and video
games
do.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with the statement because nowadays films
and video
games
are more available and comfortable ways to bump into them.Submitted by talgattan4ez on
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, such as particular video games or movies that are popular among young people.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph follows a clear progression of ideas. Consider using additional linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Be more precise in your language to avoid small inaccuracies or unclear statements. For example, instead of 'its playthrough on video hostings,' you could say 'walkthrough videos on platforms like YouTube.'
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the main argument of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well and includes relevant information about how young people prefer movies and video games over reading.
task achievement
You have identified two main areas (convenience and availability) to support your argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
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