The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram illustrates
though
Correct your spelling
through
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which the
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
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is produced.
Overall
, there are 7 steps to produce sugars, from planting the
crops
to drying and cooling mechanism, and
produce
Wrong verb form
producing
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sugar
ready to consume.
According to
the picture,
initially
, the
crops
sugar
are planted around 12-18,
then
after they grow successfully, the
sugar
crops
will be harvested. There are 2 ways of harvesting
sugar
cane; first harvest it manually by farmers by chopping the
sugar
plants, meanwhile the other one is by using special harvesting tractors that can harvest far faster in a large amount of
crops
sugar
. After being harvested, the
sugar
canes are squeezed in a crushing
machine
to produce juice and separate it from the residue. Having been purified through a limestone filter, the purified juice
then
Add a missing verb
is then
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put into an evaporator
machine
in
Change preposition
at
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a high temperature to gain a solid syrup. Before being dried and cooled in a
machine
box, the syrup is processed in a high-speed centrifuge
machine
, the function is to separate the crystals from the syrup.
Finally
, after the crystals are separated, dried and cooled,
then
the
sugar
is ready for consumption.
Submitted by pratiwi.fadhilah11 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, crops, machine with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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