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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart illustrates the changes in the global food price index and the average oil price from 2000 to 2011.

The chart illustrates the changes in the global food price index and the average oil price from 2000 to 2011.
It is evident that, despite experiencing several notable fluctuations, both
food
Use synonyms
 and
oil
Use synonyms
 costs saw a significant
overall
Linking Words
 increase over the eleven-year period.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the trends for both commodities are very similar, suggesting a strong correlation. In 2000, the
food
Use synonyms
 index and the average cost of
oil
Use synonyms
 were relatively low, with the former standing at approximately 90
points
Use synonyms
 and the latter around 30
dollars
Use synonyms
 per barrel.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, by mid-2008, both indices had risen considerably, with the
food
Use synonyms
 index reaching around 220
points
Use synonyms
 and the average
oil
Use synonyms
 cost climbing to 130
dollars
Use synonyms
 per barrel.
However
Linking Words
, after a marked decline in 2009—where the
food
Use synonyms
 index dropped by over 80
points
Use synonyms
 to 140
points
Use synonyms
, and
oil
Use synonyms
 costs fell sharply by around 90
dollars
Use synonyms
 to 40
dollars
Use synonyms
 per barrel—both indices surged once again from 2009 to 2011.
Although
Linking Words
 they reached their highest
points
Use synonyms
 in different years—with
oil
Use synonyms
 peaking at roughly 130
dollars
Use synonyms
 in mid-2008 and
food
Use synonyms
 reaching its maximum at almost 240
points
Use synonyms
 in 2011—both commodities exhibited a remarkably similar trend over the period, with a correlation rate of 93.6%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, oil, points, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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