Modern children are suffering from diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?
Recently, some diseases have started in
children
and can have a negative effect on growing moments until adolescence, for example
, obesity can cause children
to suffer. This
essay will discuss the causes and solutions with two points consist
of unhealthy Wrong verb form
consisting
food
and education healthy life.
To begin
, one of the causes of being overweight is unhealthy food
that many children
usually buy in
outside their home. Change preposition
apply
That is
due to
the fact that parents
cannot maintain their children
every time and everywhere. For instance
, when children
learn at school or play with their friends, they can buy everything they want it
and without asking their Correct pronoun usage
apply
parents
. Many times, they eat enormous types of food
that have high salt ingredients. Moreover
, children
like sweet drinks that have high sugar compotitions. As a result
, some modern children
are already obese since childhood until they grow to be teenagers.
Subsequently
, parents
and teachers should have good communication, so they can maintain food
and drink activities for their children
and students easily. The main reason is children
do not understand and select how the way to eat healthy and avoid unhealthy food
. Therefore
, every school has to make some educational such
as making a poster and showing a short movie related to education about good food
. Not only that, parents
can also
give some videos about how important it is to maintain a diet. Following that, hopefully, the number of children
who have an obesity illness can significantly decrease year by year.
To sum up
, obesity is one of the dangerous health issues for children
because it can make a
overweight until they have been growing to be adults. The main cause is unhealthy Correct pronoun usage
them
food
that the children
usually eat and the solution is maintaining and giving education for children
to healthy
lifestyle.Add an article
a healthy
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task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task prompt, but it would benefit from including more specific and relevant examples. This can help illustrate your points more vividly and make the argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved by using linking words and phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Consequently.'
coherence cohesion
Some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing are present. Consider revising sentences for better clarity. Using tools like Grammarly or having someone else proofread your work can be helpful.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both causes and solutions, fulfilling the requirements of the task.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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