Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for childern development while other think that it is crucial for childern if they go to the school . Disccuss both views and give your opinion.

It is debated that some individuals suppose their kids to stay at
home
for a better education purpose.
However
, others
opposed
Add a missing verb
are opposed
show examples
to
such
an idea and convince that
intitutions
Correct your spelling
institutions
are the better choices. I believe that
schools
can provide more knowledge in terms of resources and enhance one's social skills.
To begin
with, no one can deny that homeschooling has more flexibility than
schools
. When children
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
at
home
, they can cater their own time and interests to choose what subjects they want to learn.
For example
,
home
education allows for a tailored curriculum, if a person
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
towards mathematic topics
then
they can focus more on
such
learning.
In addition
, parents can provide a safer environment
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their offspring.
For example
, in
American
Correct your spelling
America
show examples
, there are several cases
such
as gun
shooting
Fix the agreement mistake
shootings
show examples
at school that led to mortality to the victims.
However
, I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
these issues can be addressed nicely by increasing security at
such
establishments.
On the other hand
, institutions provide diverse materials and resources compared to
home
education.
This
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
students to learn multiple subjects
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
solely focusing on the main subject.
For example
, teachers are trained
professions
Replace the word
professionals
show examples
than parents owing to the
experienced
Replace the word
experience
show examples
and resources that can contribute
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
child's educational growth.
Thus
, a better
overall
academic performance.
Moreover
, attending
schools
help them enhance
social
Correct pronoun usage
their social
show examples
skills. When attending
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
, they can make friends and socialize with one another
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can be crucial for personal development.
As a result
, it can be useful in the long run in
such
Correct article usage
a competitiness
show examples
competitiness
Correct your spelling
competitiveness
competitive
world. In conclusion,
although
homeschooling
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
security and flexibility, I believe that we should
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
limit their potential, and
allowing
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
them to
exposure
Verb problem
be exposed
show examples
to other environments and wisdom to develop skills that might be important use in the real world.
Submitted by tifjong on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, instead of mentioning the general case of gun shootings in schools, you could provide a statistic or a recent event to make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are fully developed. Some paragraphs could use more elaboration. For example, while you mentioned that teachers are trained professionals, you could explain how their expertise specifically contributes to a child's learning.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are logically structured, but some transitions could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the discussion on homeschooling and the introduction of the school's benefits could be made clearer with transitional phrases like 'On the contrary' or 'In contrast'.
task achievement
Your essay answers the question fully, discussing both views and stating your opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear start and finish to your essay.
task achievement
Your points about the flexibility and safety of homeschooling and the diverse resources and social benefits of schools are well-made.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • individual learning pace
  • tailored curriculum
  • controlled learning environment
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • family bonds
  • social skills
  • peer interactions
  • structured environment
  • trained professionals
  • educational growth
  • extracurricular activities
  • well-rounded education
  • teamwork
  • conflict resolution
  • time management
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