Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for childern development while other think that it is crucial for childern if they go to the school . Disccuss both views and give your opinion.
It is debated that some individuals suppose their kids to stay at
home
for a better education purpose. However
, others opposed
to Add a missing verb
are opposed
such
an idea and convince that intitutions
are the better choices. I believe that Correct your spelling
institutions
schools
can provide more knowledge in terms of resources and enhance one's social skills.
To begin
with, no one can deny that homeschooling has more flexibility than schools
. When children studying
at Wrong verb form
study
home
, they can cater their own time and interests to choose what subjects they want to learn. For example
, home
education allows for a tailored curriculum, if a person more
towards mathematic topics Add a missing verb
is more
then
they can focus more on such
learning. In addition
, parents can provide a safer environment to
their offspring. Change preposition
for
For example
, in American
, there are several cases Correct your spelling
America
such
as gun shooting
at school that led to mortality to the victims. Fix the agreement mistake
shootings
However
, I believe that,
these issues can be addressed nicely by increasing security at Remove the comma
apply
such
establishments.
On the other hand
, institutions provide diverse materials and resources compared to home
education. This
allow
students to learn multiple subjects Change the verb form
allows
than
solely focusing on the main subject. Rephrase
rather than
For example
, teachers are trained professions
than parents owing to the Replace the word
professionals
experienced
and resources that can contributeReplace the word
experience
a
child's educational growth. Change preposition
to a
Thus
, a better overall
academic performance. Moreover
, attending schools
help them enhance social
skills. When attending Correct pronoun usage
their social
schools
, they can make friends and socialize with one another Fix the agreement mistake
school
that
can be crucial for personal development. Correct pronoun usage
which
As a result
, it can be useful in the long run in such
Correct article usage
a competitiness
competitiness
world.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
competitiveness
competitive
although
homeschooling have
security and flexibility, I believe that we should Change the verb form
has
no
limit their potential, and Correct your spelling
not
allowing
them to Wrong verb form
allow
exposure
to other environments and wisdom to develop skills that might be important use in the real world.Verb problem
be exposed
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, instead of mentioning the general case of gun shootings in schools, you could provide a statistic or a recent event to make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are fully developed. Some paragraphs could use more elaboration. For example, while you mentioned that teachers are trained professionals, you could explain how their expertise specifically contributes to a child's learning.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are logically structured, but some transitions could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the discussion on homeschooling and the introduction of the school's benefits could be made clearer with transitional phrases like 'On the contrary' or 'In contrast'.
task achievement
Your essay answers the question fully, discussing both views and stating your opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear start and finish to your essay.
task achievement
Your points about the flexibility and safety of homeschooling and the diverse resources and social benefits of schools are well-made.
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