IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, physical education is a compulsory subject for the leaving certificate. Some people suggest that this practice be abolished. Which view do you agree with? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.

#countries #education #certificate #people #practice #choice
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Even when physical
education
 has been included in schools’
curriculum
Fix the agreement mistake
curricula
show examples
 for decades, some people nowadays opt for the abolishment of it. I strongly disagree with
this
 view and will explain my reasons in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, pupils can gain
sports
 knowledge via physical
education
, getting a better understanding of the hard work of the athletes representing their countries in
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
 games. Through
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 a variety of
sports
 activities,
such
 as volleyball, badminton and dancing, the young generations could gain practical knowledge of
sports
 games. More importantly, they might find their interests in
sports
 and pursue
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 throughout their lives. The majority of athletes started their careers
since
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 they were a child.
Secondly
, physical
education
 guarantees
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consistent exercise for students to build up a habit of regular physical activity by the age when healthy routines are most easily established. To address the widespread obesity and other health-related issues associated with
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle, it is essential to introduce toddlers to physical activities and
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
 interests in which they would continue
Add an article
the practice
show examples
practice
Wrong verb form
practising
show examples
 after graduation.
Sports
 teams encourage teammates to practice on a weekly basis, fostering a healthy habit which will
last
 for a lifetime In conclusion, since physical
education
 benefits children in many ways, and cannot be replaced by textbooks, I strongly disagree with the idea that it should be eliminated from the curriculum.
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coherence cohesion
To further strengthen the logical structure, use clear and distinct linking words or phrases between paragraphs and within points.
task achievement
When providing examples, make sure they are relevant and specific. For instance, mentioning a well-known athlete who started their career in school could make the argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, nicely framing the central argument against the abolishment of physical education.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task well, providing valid arguments and reasons against abolishing physical education from school curriculums.
task achievement
The ideas are generally clear and understandable, making it easy to follow the writer’s argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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