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Band 6.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

#people #house #apartment
Individuals may choose to live in a
house
 or an apartment based on their taste and budget.
Although
, living in a
house
 could be so attractive ,from my point of view ,staying in a flat is more beneficial. On the one hand, a
house
 is a reasonable place since it can provide more convenience and privacy for its residents. To illustrate more, children can enjoy playing in a private and safe green area and adults can communicate with their neighbors
while
 they keep their garden.
However
, not everyone can afford to purchase a big
house
 and not everyone can do its maintenance job.
For instance
, my parents have to pay a lot of money each month to keep their
house
.
Therefore
, the demerits of a
house
 outweigh its merits.
On the other hand
, a flat not only can be a safe and secure place for its people, but
also
 it is more affordable. Most of the flats have a guard to watch the whole building every time and provide enough security for building residents.
Moreover
, most of the apartments have some amenities including a gym and a pool. So individuals can use these facilities
while
 they communicate with other people and make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new friends. Needless to mention, some flats have spectacular views of a park, river or city which can satisfy the residents and elevate their moods. In a nutshell,
Although
 both
house
 and flat provide some benefits for their people, I believe living in an apartment is calmer, simpler and more affordable.
Submitted by zohmoz93 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on them for better illustration of your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Clear and well-defined introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure with organized main points and subpoints.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt fully and presents a balanced view with advantages and disadvantages of both houses and apartments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy
  • outdoor activities
  • gardening
  • customization options
  • renovate
  • structural changes
  • investments
  • appreciation/depreciation
  • maintenance costs
  • utility costs
  • security features
  • gated entries
  • surveillance systems
  • shared amenities
  • community centers
  • suburban
  • rural areas
  • commutes
  • urban centers
  • public transport
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