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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. Q- Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #media #lives #celebrities #q-
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Being a
celebrity
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 may sometimes mean that you cannot have enough
privacy
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, because the
media
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 are always seeking to snoop their noses in any
celebrity
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 business. Having said that, a lot of
people
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 agree that the
media
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 should respect celebrities'
privacy
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss more about the points I have stated, and give my perspective and where I stand with that argument. On the one hand, being a famous person means you will always find someone trying to "dig into your business".
This
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 can be quite disrespectful because famous
people
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 have the
right
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 to
privacy
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 too. The perfect example is when the
celebrity
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 Kanye West once assaulted a
media
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 person for trying to take pictures of his wife, a lot of
people
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 stood with Kanye, and David Beckham said: "We all sand with you Kanye what you did wasn't bad, I would have done worse". Another reason is, what if you were in their place? no one would like to have
people
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 in the
media
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 always trying to snoop on their private lives. A third reason is, that celebrities are human too, and everyone has the
right
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 to
privacy
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. what makes them so different?
On the other hand
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,
people
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 say that celebrities put themselves in the spotlight, why should they get mad if someone is trying to know more about them? In all honesty, I disagree with that statement, because even if they put themselves in the spotlight they still have the
right
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 to
privacy
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 and a private life away from all eyes. In conclusion, I fully agree that famous stars should have the
right
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 to
a
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apply
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private life and the
media
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 should not share anything without the consent of the
celebrity
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.
Submitted by almansouradel1 on

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task achievement
Increase the depth of the arguments to better support your perspective. Expand on your points by providing more detailed examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will help create a smoother flow and make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and enhance readability. Mistakes such as missing punctuation and slight awkwardness in phrasing should be addressed.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Use of relevant examples, like the incident involving Kanye West, which help illustrate the points made.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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