IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say economic growth is the only way to end world poverty and hunger, while others say economic growth is damaging the environment and must stop. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In recent
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
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,
keep
Verb problem
apply
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supporting economic
growth
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is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 a controversial issue.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 insist economic
development
Use synonyms
 is the only solution to solve world poverty and hunger, other
people
Use synonyms
 believe
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 economic
growth
Use synonyms
 is enough already and more
development
Use synonyms
 is not necessary. I agree with the latter opinion, and I will discuss the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
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 both statements in the rest of
this
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 essay. Economic
growth
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 is essential to get rid of the poor because it leads to earning more money and makes
people
Use synonyms
 affordable. The society where it has completed a huge economic
growth
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, has more
rooms
Fix the agreement mistake
room
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 for helping the poor. Becoming
a
Correct article usage
apply
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rich should be first to support poor
people
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.
For example
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rich countries
such
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the
Change preposition
as the
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 US have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 lower poverty rate
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to developing countries.
Also
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, in Korea, the amount of subsidize for the poor has increased only after getting
a
Correct article usage
apply
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remarkable economic
development
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.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 do not agree with the idea that economic
growth
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 is essential, which I agree with. The world is already developed enough. The
further
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development
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 only
damage
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damages
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 the environment. Natural resources
such
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 as coal and oil are needed to increase
economy
Replace the word
economic
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growth
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. Because those ingredients are key to
run
Wrong verb form
running
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 plants and
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 products, which are substantial to get
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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 developed. And using resources damages the environment.
For instance
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, global warming is getting worse when more and more countries' economy gets developed. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 economic
growth
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 can help
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 poverty and hunger by allowing
people
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 to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rich, it
also
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cause
Change the verb form
causes
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damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
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 the environment. As more economic
growth
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 can be a reason for more damage
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature, I advocate the opinion where
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 economic
growth
Use synonyms
 must stop.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from clearer and more logical sequencing of ideas. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Try to elaborate on your main points with more specific examples and explanations to support your arguments better.
task achievement
You have successfully presented and discussed both views, as required by the task.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured and clearly present your standpoint.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Gross Domestic Product (GDP)
  • Infrastructural development
  • Social services
  • Quality of life
  • Trickle-down effect
  • Poverty alleviation
  • Industrialization
  • Deforestation
  • Climate change
  • Biodiversity
  • Resource depletion
  • Sustainable growth
  • Renewable energy
  • Wellbeing indices
  • Environmental protection
  • Technological advancements
  • Global responsibility
  • Consumer behavior
  • Green technology
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