Many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get the news. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Social
media
has been used by plenty of
people
worldwide to communicate with others and receive various
news
.
This
development has its pros and cons and I believe that the disadvantages
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
the advantages. To start with, social
media
has now been the main line of communication for families and friends as it is an easy and fast way to get in touch. It has enabled long-distance family members to get updates from the extended family.
For example
, through Facebook messenger, my aunt living abroad receives the
news
that one of my cousins is getting married, which could take months if
this
news
is sent through the mail.
Also
, social
media
has allowed
news
from various countries to spread faster internationally.
This
can be beneficial to
people
who like to get updated by world
news
.
For example
, during my flight back to New Zealand, I saw one post from my friend in Manila that there was a system outage in the airport and flights were delayed before it hit the
news
.
This
enabled me to properly plan steps I might take at the airport if there were any delays on my flight.
On the other hand
, utilising social
media
as a main line of receiving
news
is detrimental. There is a rise of fake
news
being spread.
This
can be harmful to a lot of
people
.
For example
, a famous actor in the Philippines was mentioned in a post where he supposedly stole chocolate bars from a convenience store.
This
story was proven to be fake and the person who posted the story now faces criminal charges.
Also
, the use of social
media
has led to plenty of
people
not socially interacting as it is easier to type than talk. It can negatively impact one's social skills as these skills are not being enhanced by the use of social
media
.
For instance
, recently met with a friend who is constantly scrolling through Facebook and she's more engaged on her phone rather than talking with me. She said to me that she was talking to another friend online. In conclusion, social
media
has its benefits
such
as an easy line of communication and it can spread
news
easily but personally, the disadvantages
such
as increased fake
news
and decreased social skills outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by estillorericamae on

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task achievement
While your essay addresses the task very effectively, there is a slight imbalance, with more focus on the advantages in the first half and disadvantages in the second half. Try to balance your points across both sides more evenly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to have clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline what will be discussed. This helps create a logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will improve the cohesion of your essay and help it flow more smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples from your own experience, which strengthens your points and makes your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Your ideas are comprehensive and clearly presented, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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