Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold . To what extent do you agree or disagree ? Give reason for your answer and include,any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#sales #consumer #goods #power #society #reason

When the

first

astronaut put his

step

on the

Moon

, he said that it

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

be considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a huge

step

for humanity.

However

, some individuals state that it does not have any impact on our daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, so it is not that essential to travel to the

Moon

. I strongly disagree with

this

opinion, since

this

is an egocentric view that has not been fully analyzed. In conclusion, I completely disagree that

people

should underestimate the value of the

first

human

step

on the

moon

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since it has been the

first

chain of sequential inventions and

motivating

Correct article usage

a motivating

show examples

source for many

people

to open the doors of

great

Correct article usage

a great

show examples

future

Besides

, having inspired an increasing number of children is another reason that makes it a big salam

step

. Namely, despite their daily challenges, our youngsters are more hopeful and determined about their

future

. It is a motivating factor to serve

for having

Change preposition

to have

show examples

great

Correct article usage

a great

show examples

and sustainable

future

in many fields, albeit to make a great amount of money for themselves. In the USA,

for instance

, it is observed that students are inclined to be more motivated to make a difference in their field

such

as computer science and medicine, which will lead to

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

more breakthroughs to shape

great

Correct article usage

a great

show examples

future

for all humanity. In conclusion, I completely disagree that

people

should underestimate the value of the

first

human

step

on the

moon

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since it has been the

first

chain of sequential inventions and

motivating

Correct article usage

a motivating

show examples

source for many

people

to open the doors of

great

Correct article usage

a great

show examples

future

Submitted by i.nureddinn on Thu Aug 15 2024

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introduction

The introduction does a good job in stating the thesis, but it should give a brief overview of the main points to be discussed. Revise the introduction to provide a clear roadmap for the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Work on paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence. This will improve the logical flow and coherence of your essay.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points. Real-world examples and data can make your arguments more convincing.

conclusion

Watch for repetition, particularly in the conclusion, where the same sentence is repeated. Refine your conclusion to summarize the key points made in the essay without redundancy.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear position on the topic, demonstrating strong personal engagement and argumentation skills.

coherence and cohesion

There is an evident structure with an introduction and conclusion present.

language use

The use of phrases like 'egocentric view' and 'increasing number of children' shows a good range of vocabulary and expression.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold . To what extent do you agree or disagree ? Give reason for your answer and include,any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Fully explain your ideas

While social media platforms can have their benefits, using them too much can make you feel increasingly unhappy and decrease your self-esteem in the long run. Discuss with examples

You visited a hotel last week and left some items behind. Write a letter to the manager stating 1. Details of your stay 2. How important the items are to you 3. How you would want the items to the sent to you

With increasing populations and ever growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?

Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people's interest in famous people in the history of their country?

Research has shown that spending less time in the office can reduce the use of energy (for example, electricity, gas). Thus some companies close for some days a week. Do this advantage of this development outhweight the disadvantage.