Many people leave their home country and go to other countries to live and work. Why do you think it is happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweighs its disadvantages?

A common phenomenon is the growing trend of
people
moving from their home
country
to foreign countries in search of better employment opportunities and permanent residence.
While
there are many factors driving
this
migration, I argue that
this
shift is predominantly beneficial. Several factors contribute to the decision of many
people
to settle in more developed countries. One important factor is the desire for a higher standard of living.
People
often believe that by moving abroad they can gain access to superior job prospects, better health facilities and better educational opportunities. Another driving factor is the desire to ensure the safety and well-being of themselves and their families.
For instance
, insecurity in many underdeveloped countries encourages
people
to seek safer environments
elsewhere
.
Moreover
, political instability in their home
country
can undermine prospects for a stable life, forcing
people
to choose safer environments abroad. The decision to move to another
country
for work and permanent residence brings several
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
results.
First,
such
a move gives
people
the opportunity to immerse themselves in a new language and culture, promoting personal growth and enriching their life experiences.
Secondly
,
people
working abroad can make a significant contribution to the economic development of their
country
through remittances.
This
financial support plays a crucial role in boosting the economy of their home
country
.
To conclude
,
although
the motives for international migration vary, I argue that
this
trend brings
overall
benefits to both individuals and society as a whole.
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

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task response
Ensure that all main points are thoroughly supported with specific examples or evidence. This helps in achieving a more complete and compelling argument.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay’s structure is logical, try to make more explicit connections between paragraphs and ideas. This will enhance the overall coherence.
task response
Expand a bit more on the potential disadvantages of moving to another country and why the advantages outweigh them. This will provide a more balanced view and show a clear addressing of the essay question.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with a strong introduction and conclusion that tie together well.
task response
The reasons for migration and their benefits are clearly explained, making the argument easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The language used is clear, and there are appropriate transitions between paragraphs that contribute to the overall flow of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic migrant
  • Brain drain
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Remittances
  • Expatriate
  • Diaspora
  • Transnational
  • Host country
  • Country of origin
  • Push and pull factors
  • Standard of living
  • Political asylum
  • Cross-cultural
  • Migrant workforce
  • Integration policy
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