Many people leave their home country and go to other countries to live and work. Why do you think it is happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweighs its disadvantages?

#people #home #country #countries #work #trend

A common phenomenon is the growing trend of

people

moving from their home

country

to foreign countries in search of better employment opportunities and permanent residence.

While

there are many factors driving

this

migration, I argue that

this

shift is predominantly beneficial. Several factors contribute to the decision of many

people

to settle in more developed countries. One important factor is the desire for a higher standard of living.

People

often believe that by moving abroad they can gain access to superior job prospects, better health facilities and better educational opportunities. Another driving factor is the desire to ensure the safety and well-being of themselves and their families.

For instance

, insecurity in many underdeveloped countries encourages

people

to seek safer environments

elsewhere

Moreover

, political instability in their home

country

can undermine prospects for a stable life, forcing

people

to choose safer environments abroad. The decision to move to another

country

for work and permanent residence brings several

favorable

Change the spelling

favourable

show examples

results.

First,

such

a move gives

people

the opportunity to immerse themselves in a new language and culture, promoting personal growth and enriching their life experiences.

Secondly

people

working abroad can make a significant contribution to the economic development of their

country

through remittances.

This

financial support plays a crucial role in boosting the economy of their home

country

To conclude

although

the motives for international migration vary, I argue that

this

trend brings

overall

benefits to both individuals and society as a whole.

Submitted by Mrjit147 on Thu Aug 15 2024

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task response

Ensure that all main points are thoroughly supported with specific examples or evidence. This helps in achieving a more complete and compelling argument.

coherence cohesion

Although the essay’s structure is logical, try to make more explicit connections between paragraphs and ideas. This will enhance the overall coherence.

task response

Expand a bit more on the potential disadvantages of moving to another country and why the advantages outweigh them. This will provide a more balanced view and show a clear addressing of the essay question.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and logical structure with a strong introduction and conclusion that tie together well.

task response

The reasons for migration and their benefits are clearly explained, making the argument easy to follow.

coherence cohesion

The language used is clear, and there are appropriate transitions between paragraphs that contribute to the overall flow of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people leave their home country and go to other countries to live and work. Why do you think it is happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweighs its disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many countries spend a lot of money on art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Today, more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

Many people believe that a person’s culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that it has only minor influence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.