The line graph shows visitor numbers to 5 attractions in the city of Parkvale from 1996 to 2016

#line #visitor #numbers #attractions #city #parkvale

The graph compares the number of

people

who visited 5 attractions in Parkvale

city

Capitalize word

City

show examples

between 1996 dan 2016.

Overall

, the National Gallery was by far the most popular venue after 2000,

although

the Indigenous Art Centre

also

was

Verb problem

saw

show examples

a rise in visitor numbers.

While

fewer

people

went to the aquarium and zoo over the two decades, museum attendance remained fairly stable. In 1996, the aquarium was the main attraction, with over 500,000

people

coming through

people

in 1996, it

then

enjoyed a huge rise in popularity over the next 10 years, peaking at almost 400,000 visitors in 2004 and reaching a similar figure in 2016. By that year,

also

, the National Gallery had seen an unparalleled increase in visitors to almost 1 million. Meanwhile, over the period shown, aquarium attendance plummeted by about 400,000, going from the most to the least visited venue. The zoo's figure fell substantially as well, though less dramatically,

while

the museum was little deviation from around 450,000 annual visitors.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Thu Aug 15 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

164 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The line graph shows visitor numbers to 5 attractions in the city of Parkvale from 1996 to 2016

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Because of the rising cost of living, many young people are increasingly being forced to live with their parents into their 30's. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,...) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Task 2. Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by new ones. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.