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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The chart depicts the
tea
Use synonyms
 and
coffee
Use synonyms
 drinking habits of citizens in five different
Austrlian
Correct your spelling
Australian
cities
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 except
Adelaide
Change preposition
in Adelaide
show examples
, the percentage of residents
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
 to a
cafe
Use synonyms
 is more than bought fresh or instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the rest of
Use synonyms
cities
Correct article usage
the cities
show examples
. People living in Sydney, Melbourne, Hobart and Brisbane tend to have
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in a
cafe
Use synonyms
, especially in the first three
cities
Use synonyms
 for more than 60%. As for the proportion of instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 bought in these five
cities
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 in the range of 45% to 55%, which is
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
 than the percentage of people
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
 to a
cafe
Use synonyms
 but more than those
bought
Correct pronoun usage
who bought
show examples
 fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
. Fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 bought in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the least one that people
did
Verb problem
apply
show examples
compare to the other two. In Sydney and Melbourne, the drinking
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 of
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
tea
Use synonyms
 are more popular than Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart
overall
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
, instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 and manmade
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in the store are almost at the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
promotion
proposition
 about a little bit more than 50% in the former and nearly 50% in the latter. In conclusion, residents in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
four out of five
cities
Use synonyms
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
favor
in have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
cafe
Use synonyms
 and fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 in the
last
Linking Words
 position among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 drinking habits.
Submitted by 10youting01 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tea, coffee, cities, cafe with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee and tea buying habits
  • instant coffee
  • fresh coffee
  • cafe culture
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • city demographics
  • seasonal trends
  • marketing strategies
  • consumer preferences
  • availability
  • popularity
  • consumption patterns
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