Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. do you think the advantages of technology outweighs the disadvantages?
In today's modern era, usage of social
media
has risen up to a level where people use them to integrate with their beloved
ones and stay updated about the Correct your spelling
loved
news
all around the world. Therefore
, there are various thoughts about this
method; moreover
, its benefits and drawbacks which in the following passage they
are going to be discussed.
On the one hand, there is no denying or any hesitation that social Correct pronoun usage
apply
media
had
modified Wrong verb form
has
lives
of human beings in certain categories Correct article usage
the lives
such
as in culture; for instance
, the old, historical tradition of visiting relatives as a way of communication has given its place to virtual video calls throughout the internet. As a result
, this
happening reduces the closeness between families and friends which could damage their relations. Also
, the number of news
organizations has increased significantly since the beginning of the emergence of social media
; this
led many
concerns Change preposition
to many
into
humans' minds because of the lack of trust in those Change preposition
in
news
agencies. On the other hand
, social networks have played an essential role in the development of human nature in
the beginning of Change the preposition
at
digital
era. Add an article
a digital
the digital
Firstly
, even with all the negative points in the process of communicating online , this
technology has brought the
society the ability to Correct article usage
apply
get connection
with Wrong verb form
connect
the
Correct article usage
apply
or
friends, families or colleagues from the other side of the planet, thousands of miles away. Correct word choice
apply
Secondly
, the platform of social networks has
become the main source for achieving all kinds of Correct subject-verb agreement
have
news
events, festivals, concerts, politics and many more to mention
. Verb problem
apply
In addition
, virtual news
channels have helped the environment dramatically by cutting the use of paper in their factories, as they do not produce newspapers anymore.
In conclusion, virtual media
has become an inseparable part of our lives, because of all the positive, functional and life changing
abilities it gives us which makes it obvious that its advantages outweigh the drawbacks.Add a hyphen
life-changing
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task achievement
While the essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of social media, it would benefit from more specific examples. For instance, mentioning particular social media platforms or news events could make the argument more relatable and grounded.
task achievement
Some of the points could be more clearly articulated. For instance, the argument about the number of news organizations could be expanded to explain how this affects trust in news agencies. Ensure each point is fully developed.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that aligns with the main argument. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could also be more fluid.
coherence cohesion
Although the structure is generally logical, consider breaking the paragraphs into smaller sections to enhance readability. Each paragraph should ideally focus on one main idea.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view of the topic, discussing both advantages and disadvantages thoroughly, which demonstrates a good understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, setting up the argument and summarizing the main points concisely.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion