In what ways can tourism contribute to the preservation and protection of natural landscapes?

#tourism #preservation #protection #landscapes

From my perspective, I believe that tourism is a great way to increase appreciation and respect for nature. Let me share a personal example,

Last

month, I visited northern Pakistan, and I visited the

place

known as the Heaven on Earth named Kashmir.After visiting

this

place

I have a different type of bonding with the

place

which has mountains the people live in the mountains and all around the mountain there is water

beside

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Moreover

, the

place

is well maintained and has the best infrastructure and it shows nature very well. In conclusion, I must say that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

people who don't like nature need to travel to

such

places which have peace and greenery.After visiting

such

place

they will be fond of it.

Submitted by shahroz99dev on Thu Aug 15 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a general response to the topic but lacks sufficient depth and analysis. To improve, consider elaborating more on specific ways tourism can actively contribute to the preservation and protection of natural landscapes. Offer concrete examples and explanations.

coherence cohesion

The essay's organization would benefit from a clearer structure. Make sure each paragraph has a specific focus and links cohesively to the next. For example, start with an introduction that outlines your main points, then dedicate separate paragraphs to each point, and finish with a strong conclusion.

task achievement

Your personal experience adds a unique touch and can help engage the reader. Personal anecdotes make your essay more relatable and interesting.

coherence cohesion

The essay features a conclusion that succinctly summarizes your viewpoint. It's important to maintain this practice as it leaves a lasting impression on the reader.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

122 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In what ways can tourism contribute to the preservation and protection of natural landscapes?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

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