IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In what ways can tourism contribute to the preservation and protection of natural landscapes?

#tourism #preservation #protection #landscapes
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From my perspective, I believe that tourism is a great way to increase appreciation and respect for nature. Let me share a personal example,
Last
 month, I visited northern Pakistan, and I visited the
place
 known as the Heaven on Earth named Kashmir.After visiting
this
place
 I have a different type of bonding with the
place
 which has mountains the people live in the mountains and all around the mountain there is water
beside
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it
Correct pronoun usage
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.
Moreover
, the
place
 is well maintained and has the best infrastructure and it shows nature very well. In conclusion, I must say that
,
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people who don't like nature need to travel to
such
 places which have peace and greenery.After visiting
such
 a
place
 they will be fond of it.
Submitted by shahroz99dev on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a general response to the topic but lacks sufficient depth and analysis. To improve, consider elaborating more on specific ways tourism can actively contribute to the preservation and protection of natural landscapes. Offer concrete examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay's organization would benefit from a clearer structure. Make sure each paragraph has a specific focus and links cohesively to the next. For example, start with an introduction that outlines your main points, then dedicate separate paragraphs to each point, and finish with a strong conclusion.
task achievement
Your personal experience adds a unique touch and can help engage the reader. Personal anecdotes make your essay more relatable and interesting.
coherence cohesion
The essay features a conclusion that succinctly summarizes your viewpoint. It's important to maintain this practice as it leaves a lasting impression on the reader.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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