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Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph shows the average number of people attending top-level football matches in three European countries from 1980 to 2004.

The line graph shows the average number of people attending top-level football matches in three European countries from 1980 to 2004.
The graph compares the number of people who attended highly levelled soccer matches in three various regions-Italy, England, and
Germany
Use synonyms
 between 1980 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, participation increased in Italy and England,
while
Linking Words
Germany
Use synonyms
 experienced a decline.
Germany
Use synonyms
 and Italy, meanwhile, showed almost similar trends throughout the period.
Germany
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, saw a considerable downward trend in terms of their average participants from 25 to just under 20 over the five years,
then
Linking Words
 it rose steadily from about 20 in 1986 to approximately 35
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2004. As for England, there was a decline
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 roughly 5
thousand
Use synonyms
 in the number of football players. Despite a slight fall,
this
Linking Words
 figure grew significantly from about 22.5 in 1986 to well under 35
at the end
Linking Words
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, attendance in Italy saw a noticeable decrease.
Although
Linking Words
 it started as having the greatest members at 35
thousand
Use synonyms
 in the beginning, the very figure
then
Linking Words
 fell to 25
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2004, after a negligible rise between 1980 and 2004.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words germany, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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