Some people think that work is the most important thing in people's lives. Without the success of a career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Career
is source fundamental a aim for many people. That benefits career
success, financial security, personal
satisfaction. Correct word choice
and personal
Therefore
this
covers a large part of their business life
and themselves describe
Wrong verb form
described
at
the works. The Change preposition
in
succesfully
a Correct your spelling
successful
successfully
career
, the individual's self-confidence increases and these stituonsi
positive impact Correct your spelling
stations
to
Change preposition
on
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
life
parts.
However
, life
is not limited to work
alone. Other elements such
as family, friends, hobbies, and personal development are also
important components that give life
meaning. A person's life
should not be solely defined by work
; otherwise
, in the event of job loss or failure, they may feel empty. Additionally
, relationships and activities outside of work
enhance personal happiness, making life
richer and more meaningful.
In conclusion, work
Add a hyphen
work-life
life
certainly holds an important place, but the meaning of life
cannot be measured solely by career
success. There are many significant factors outside of work
in a person's life
, and these factors contribute to making life
truly meaningful and fulfilling. Therefore
, while
acknowledging the importance of work
, I believe that life
should be lived in a balanced waySubmitted by emirhanozkan5757 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure each sentence flows smoothly to the next. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your points.
Task Achievement
Strengthen your arguments by providing specific examples to illustrate your points. This will make your essay more persuasive.
Grammar and Language
Work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. While your ideas are clear, some sentences are difficult to understand due to minor errors.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear framework for your essay. This helps guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
You address the topic directly and provide a balanced view on the importance of work and other aspects of life. This shows a good understanding of the task.
Task Achievement
Your essay touches on a variety of aspects that contribute to a meaningful life, which makes it comprehensive.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion