13.Today, some food travels thousands of miles from farms to consumers. Some people think that it would be better to our environment and economy if people only eat locally produced food. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?
There is no doubt that these days lot of
farms
are located far away from consumers and that is
normal because of the distance between the farms
and cities. in this
essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages.
In terms of advantages, the quality of food is better due to
the area of these farms
being isolated from any pollution. about environment
it's better for the weather because it decreases the amount of CO2 and raises the amount of oxygen, it's useful and there Add an article
the environment
also
have
economic benefits if people start to buy locally produced food it costs less and tastes better. To illustrate, some countries Verb problem
are
start
to put their Wrong verb form
have started
farms
in
the highways near Change preposition
on
by
Change preposition
apply
the
big cities. after a period of time, the percentage of the economy increases. Correct article usage
apply
in other words
, the cost of transportation and storage is reduced and the food is more fresh and useful.
However
, of course, there are disadvantages. first,
it's required accurate studies before doing any real steps because any mistake will cause
a lot of money Verb problem
cost
for example
if they do not calculate the required environment for the animals they will die fast and also
measure the capacity of these cities equals the number of the products or they will need more farms
.
In conclusion, our countries are doing a great job of making local products viable for every person and making beautiful farms
and views that attract new people and tourists to visit the country in the end
the advantages more than the disadvantages and Add the comma(s)
, in the end,
this
is a positive result.Submitted by salahsadgg1 on
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task achievement
Your introduction provides a basic overview of the topic, but it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement that directly answers the question: Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?
task achievement
Your paragraphs cover both advantages and disadvantages, but they can be expanded to include more specific examples and deeper analysis. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Using transition words and phrases can help guide the reader through your argument in a more coherent manner.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. Make sure to proofread for clarity and accuracy.
task achievement
Try to balance your discussion of advantages and disadvantages more evenly. The current essay is more focused on the advantages, making the argument one-sided.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your opinion, which makes your position clear.
task achievement
You have identified several pertinent advantages and disadvantages, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.