Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #television #video #computer #games #children #beleve #effects #child #development

Undoubtedly, electric devices are vital items in today's modern world. Even though some people conjecture that it is beneficial for kids to spend time on TV, video and computer games, other individuals confirm that these are drawbacks to using them. In

this

essay, I will discuss and explain both opinions and include the reason for supporting the latter idea.

To begin

with the one hand, the majority of humans trust that TV is one of the best ways to teach children. There are numerous TV programs relevant to our history. An investigation recently conducted by the Ministry of Education discovered that over 80% of teachers use electronic gadgets in their classes. By watching these programs in video format

as a consequence

, students can not only enjoy watching them but

also

feel vivid images related to the curriculum.

Furthermore

, visual images can allow learners to memorize things quickly and accurately.

Hence

, television can be a practical way to elevate the efficiency of the education system.

On the other hand

nevertheless

, I assert that video games are harmful to youth. It can integrate both physical and mental issues. For the former,

while

people play computer games, they are likely to be sitting in front of the monitor for a long time.

This

may cause eye strain,

also

shoulder and headache pain. Regarding the latter,

according to

an analysis by Nikki's newspaper, the quantity of high school students who are suffering from computer addiction has increased significantly within the

last

decade.

To sum up

both sides, despite their pros to spending time on gadgets, it should be taken into account that the bad effects on a miner's well-being.

Submitted by shahobhozratkulov on Fri Aug 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports or counters the main points of the discussion to enhance clarity and coherence.

task achievement

Develop more specific examples and explanations to better support each viewpoint discussed.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the structure of the essay.

complete response

The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.

logical structure

The arguments are logically structured and there is a clear contrast between the two viewpoints.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

educational content
documentaries
enhance knowledge
hand-eye coordination
problem-solving skills
interactive gameplay
computer literacy
sedentary lifestyle
childhood obesity
social skills
peer interaction
exposure
inappropriate behavior
influence negatively

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Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

As technology has advanced, there is almost no gender difference when applying for any job in any sector. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some universities students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.