Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #television #video #computer #games #children #beleve #effects #child #development

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Undoubtedly, electric devices are vital items in today's modern world. Even though some people conjecture that it is beneficial for kids to spend time on TV, video and computer games, other individuals confirm that these are drawbacks to using them. In

this

essay, I will discuss and explain both opinions and include the reason for supporting the latter idea.

To begin

with the one hand, the majority of humans trust that TV is one of the best ways to teach children. There are numerous TV programs relevant to our history. An investigation recently conducted by the Ministry of Education discovered that over 80% of teachers use electronic gadgets in their classes. By watching these programs in video format

as a consequence

, students can not only enjoy watching them but

also

feel vivid images related to the curriculum.

Furthermore

, visual images can allow learners to memorize things quickly and accurately.

Hence

, television can be a practical way to elevate the efficiency of the education system.

On the other hand

nevertheless

, I assert that video games are harmful to youth. It can integrate both physical and mental issues. For the former,

while

people play computer games, they are likely to be sitting in front of the monitor for a long time.

This

may cause eye strain,

also

shoulder and headache pain. Regarding the latter,

according to

an analysis by Nikki's newspaper, the quantity of high school students who are suffering from computer addiction has increased significantly within the

last

decade.

To sum up

both sides, despite their pros to spending time on gadgets, it should be taken into account that the bad effects on a miner's well-being.

Submitted by shahobhozratkulov on Fri Aug 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports or counters the main points of the discussion to enhance clarity and coherence.

task achievement

Develop more specific examples and explanations to better support each viewpoint discussed.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the structure of the essay.

complete response

The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.

logical structure

The arguments are logically structured and there is a clear contrast between the two viewpoints.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

educational content
documentaries
enhance knowledge
hand-eye coordination
problem-solving skills
interactive gameplay
computer literacy
sedentary lifestyle
childhood obesity
social skills
peer interaction
exposure
inappropriate behavior
influence negatively

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Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that menand women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant.

The most effective way to solve traffic and transport problems in the cities is to encourage people from the suburbs or the countryside to live in the cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?