The bar chart illustrates the percentage of how parents in a country spent time taking care of their children in the evening in 2022. (rewrite)

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart illustrates the percentage of how parents in a country spent time taking care of their children in the evening in 2022. (rewrite)
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The bar chart illustrates the
percentage
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of
households
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living in either owned or rented
accommodation
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in England and Wales over the period from 1918 to 2011. The data demonstrates significant changes in the housing preferences of people across different years, revealing clear trends toward
homeownership
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and a gradual decline in renting.
To begin
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with, in 1918, a substantial majority of
households
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, approximately 78%, were living in rented
accommodation
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,
while
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only 22% of the population owned their homes.
This
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significant gap between renting and owning was maintained until 1939 when there was a slight decrease in the
percentage
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of rented
households
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.
However
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,
homeownership
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remained relatively low, with only minor fluctuations observed during
this
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period. Moving forward, a noticeable shift occurred after World War II. From 1953 onwards, the
percentage
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of owned
households
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began to rise steadily. By 1971, the proportion of homeowners and renters had reached an equilibrium, with both categories standing at around 50%.
This
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marked a pivotal point in the housing market, reflecting a growing preference for
homeownership
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among the population.
Furthermore
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, the trend continued in
favor
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favour
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of ownership throughout the following decades. By 2001, the
percentage
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of
households
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in owned
accommodation
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peaked at approximately 69%,
while
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the proportion of rented
households
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had declined to just 31%.
This
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shift highlights the increasing importance placed on
homeownership
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during
this
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time.
However
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, it is worth noting that in 2011, there was a slight reversal of
this
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trend, with a small increase in the
percentage
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of rented
households
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, rising to around 36%,
while
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ownership decreased slightly to 64%. In summary, the bar chart reveals a significant transformation in housing patterns in England and Wales over the period from 1918 to 2011.
While
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renting was
initially
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the dominant form of
accommodation
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, the mid-20th century saw a steady rise in
homeownership
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, which peaked in the early 2000s.
Nonetheless
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, recent years have shown a slight resurgence in renting, indicating a possible shift in housing preferences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, households, accommodation, homeownership with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 4 times.
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