Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other. Others argue that people have become more independent. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #world

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In the modern era, there is a debate about whether

people

Use synonyms

are becoming more independent or whether they still rely on each other for basic necessities. I believe that

due to

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advancements in technology and increasing internet access,

people

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are becoming more liberated and living life

according to

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their own rules. Those who argue that

people

Use synonyms

are still reliant on each other have a valid point.

To begin

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with,

children

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depend on their

parents

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for food, shelter, and education.

This

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dependency ensures that

children

Use synonyms

have a secure future, as their basic needs are met by their

parents

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However

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, if

this

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reliance extends beyond a certain age, it might hinder personal growth.

For example

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, in India, many

parents

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continue to support their

children

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financially and keep them in the family home even after they are mature.

This

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practice shows that some

people

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remain bound to each other, which can limit their independence and prevent them from becoming self-sufficient.

On the other hand

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while

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some

people

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may still be dependent on each other, there is a growing trend, especially among younger generations, to become more independent. Advancements in technology and the widespread availability of the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

have made it easier for

people

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to become self-sufficient.

For instance

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, remote jobs have become more accessible, allowing

people

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to earn a living even in less developed countries.

Additionally

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, many

parents

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are now sending their

children

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abroad at a young age to take advantage of better opportunities and encourage self-reliance. These trends clearly indicate that

people

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are increasingly embracing independence. In my opinion, it is a basic duty for

parents

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to provide for their

children

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, but

this

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should be limited to a certain age.

This

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does not necessarily mean that we are becoming more dependent on each other.

Instead

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, with the benefits of technology, we are promoting a free-spirited environment where independence is valued and encouraged.

Submitted by sanakalsi3736 on Fri Aug 16 2024

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task achievement

You have addressed the task effectively, covering both viewpoints and giving your own opinion. To improve, include more detailed and diverse examples that further substantiate your points.

coherence cohesion

To enhance the coherence and cohesion, aim for slightly smoother transitions between ideas. Your essay is well-organized but sometimes may benefit from more varied linking words.

coherence cohesion

Your essay opens with a clear and strong introduction, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your stance.

coherence cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with clear main points and supportive arguments.

task achievement

You have provided a balanced discussion, addressing both views and offering a clear opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

interdependence
globalization
technological advancements
collective action
digital evolution
minimal reliance
direct interaction
empowered
access to technology
societal expectations
personal choice
leverage

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Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other. Others argue that people have become more independent. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impacts of aging population

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

Some people think there is no need for professional photographers as everybody knows how to click pictures. What is your opinion? Include any relevant personal experience and knowledge

in many countries around the world ,rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?