An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What are the reasons behind this trend? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?
Owing to the poor conditions, more and more highly educated employees
such
as tutors and medicine experts have been leaving their homelands. This
development is closely related to unpleasant economical
situations and violent acts that they are subjected to. Correct word choice
economic
However
, there are solutions to deter these people from migration
.
Nowadays, it is a fact that nearly every domain on the earth is facing Replace the word
migrating
economical
issues. Corresponding to development, Replace the word
economic
while
the citizens from rich countries
deal them
easily, Change preposition
with them
destitude
ones suffer incredibly. Correct your spelling
destitute
Therefore
, migrations have increased dramatically. Especially for those who are more skilled. After many years of heavy education, these brilliant brains feel neither economically satisfied nor respected. Moreover
, in particular
countries
, professionals, who are particularly teachers and doctors, have to deal with violence. Take Turkey as an example. A Turkish citizen comes across beating news, which is related to medicine experts and tutors every week.
As professionals have paramount importance, relatively less developed countries
have no room to lose their educated citizens. In this
context, authorities must resolve their critical issue. Therefore
, in order to prevent brain drain, implementing salary betterments and heavier punisments
for vandals would be effective. After these positive Correct your spelling
punishments
punishment
changings
, the number of people, who desire to relocate Correct your spelling
changes
rich
Change preposition
to rich
countries
, would decrease. Poland and Romania for example
, halved migration thanks to provide
pay Wrong verb form
providing
raise
for experts.
In conclusion, the reason Fix the agreement mistake
raises
of
Change preposition
for
brain
drain is heavily related to the Correct article usage
the brain
countries
' bad economical
situation and lack of safety in Correct word choice
economic
workplace
. But, these issues can be tackled by better salaries and deterrent punishments.Add an article
the workplace
Submitted by TUTOO on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing clear insights into the reasons behind the trend of professionals leaving poorer countries and suggesting practical solutions. However, the argument could be further strengthened with more detailed examples and deeper analysis. Consider elaborating on how specific economic and social factors contribute to this trend.
coherence and cohesion
The essay flows well and presents ideas in a logical order. However, there are occasional lapses in coherence, primarily due to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Pay attention to sentence structure and aim for a smoother transition between ideas.
introduction and conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, succinct, and summarize the main points effectively.
logical structure
The essay’s structure is logical, with a clear progression of ideas.
relevant specific examples
Provided relevant and specific examples such as the situation in Turkey, which enhances the argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?