IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph illustrates the amount of visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries over a period of eighteen years between 1996 and 2014.

The line graph illustrates the amount of visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries over a period of eighteen years between 1996 and 2014.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph shows the amount of visitor spend for
visitors
Use synonyms
 to New Zealand from Australia, USA, UK, Japan and China in eighteen years from 1996 to 2014.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is clear almost all the lines have an increasing trend. Australia has the biggest fluctuation compared to the other four and
then
Linking Words
end
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 up
2000
Change preposition
with 2000
show examples
 expenditure in 2014 which means it
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 about 1000
visitors
Use synonyms
 higher in 1996, Australia in 2006 it's the peak and had 2500 expenditure.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, china in 2014 had the lowest expenditure in all years except between 2001 and 2005.
However
Linking Words
,
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 had 400
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2014.
Moreover
Linking Words
, USA and UK
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 800 and 450 visitor spend respectively but both increased to 1200 and 850 visitor spend. Japan is the only one which has the approximately same amount (500)
Use synonyms
visitors
Change preposition
of visitors
show examples
 at the beginning and
at the end
Linking Words
 of the line graph.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • illustrates
  • visitor spend
  • over a period of
  • eighteen years
  • between 1996 and 2014
  • general trend
  • observed
  • increase
  • decrease
  • fluctuations
  • a breakdown of
  • spending habits
  • comparison
  • highest spenders
  • lowest spenders
  • possible reasons
  • economic conditions
  • tourism promotions
  • significant events
  • specific significant peaks
  • drops in spending
  • corresponding years
  • impact of external factors
  • global financial crisis
  • natural disasters
  • summarizing
  • overall trend
  • implications
  • tourism industry
What to do next:
Look at other essays: