It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
No
one
can deny that taking risks
is an important issue for people in their individual life and also
work lives which have both pros and cons aspects. In this
essay
I will discuss the arguments supporting the fact that the main merits are greater than demerits.
On the Add a comma
essay,
one
hand, some people believe that taking risks
has some drawbacks. The most important one
is the cost of the risks
. This
is because of the fact that taking risks
need to manage all aspects of the risk
such
as cost, time and knowledge of the risks
. For example
, investment in the bourse has high risk
, so if people have not done sufficient research before investing and are not aware of when they should purchase the stake and the time of sale, they will not only earn no profits,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
will miss their funds. Therefore
, it is essential to analyze the risk
perfectly to mitigate the negative sides of it. Another minus point is that taking risks
usually is combined with undoubting, so it could increase an individual`s stress. Despite, the negative aspects of taking risks
, I believe that encountering risk
with an open mind can change into Fix the agreement mistake
risks
strength
point.
Correct article usage
a strength
On the other hand
, there are some benefits. The most predominant one
is that taking risks
plays a key role for
success. Change preposition
in
This
is due to
the fact that striving to control and manage the risks
can surge the
Correct article usage
apply
self-confident
and improve the ability of Replace the word
self-confidence
problem- solving
, both of which are critical factors for success in professional and personal lives. Correct your spelling
problem-solving
Hence
, achievements that are generated by taking risks
are vital elements for success. Another upside is that taking risks
can increase the person`s adaption, which means that danger is a main part of risk
so having courage and tolerance to face with
danger is essential. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, during facing with
Change preposition
apply
risks
individuals practice to adopt
themselves Correct your spelling
adapt
with
each situation.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the benefits of taking Change preposition
to
risks
include improving self-confidence and ability of problem
- solving, Fix the agreement mistake
problems
also
easier adaption is more significant than drawbacks such
as stress and missing funds, which they
can be handled if individuals Correct pronoun usage
apply
be
smart.Wrong verb form
are
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task achievement
You've provided a comprehensive response to the task and supported your points with relevant examples. However, ensure that your examples are as clear and specific as possible to better illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some points could be organized more effectively to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Some of the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Make sure each paragraph flows naturally into the next for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, as they can interrupt the flow of your writing.
task achievement
You've clearly stated your position on the topic and consistently supported it throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks, providing a well-rounded perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a logical introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments effectively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example