Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and town, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

#people #countryside #cities #town #situation

Some teenagers are moving from the

countryside

to reside in urban centres, thereby leaving the elderly in the outskirts.

This

situation will leave older

people

struggling in life and it will

also

cause

overloads

cities

However

, to minimise these issues, the state can upgrade the

countryside

Firstly

, when young

people

leave the older

people

in the outskirts, they will struggle with life,

feel

Correct word choice

and feel

show examples

lonely and

this

will

also

cause

overloads

in towns. By moving to

cities

and towns, our greater

genaration

Correct your spelling

generation

will be left with

noone

Correct your spelling

no one

to help them

Change preposition

with

show examples

things they

wont

Add an apostrophe

won't

show examples

be able to do alone

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

going to fetch water at the river and

hearding

Correct your spelling

herd

cattle,

this

will

also

result in them feeling lonely.

Furthermore

this

transition will cause

overloads

in urban areas.

Such

actions are unsafe for the

cities

because when

people

overpopulate an area, it leads to higher

crime

rates

hence

creating a tense livinghood.

For instance

, in Kenya, there was a period when many young

people

migrated to a certain town in search of

employement

Correct your spelling

employment

, within 2 months of that period, the

Kenyain

Correct your spelling

Kenyan

police published figures

Change preposition

for

show examples

increased

crime

rate which was

tripple

Correct your spelling

triple

that of the time prior to

this

period.

However

, these problems can be relieved by upgrading the

countryside

. By making effforts to provide things

such

as better

jobs

Fix the agreement mistake

job

show examples

opportunities

Correct word choice

and, good

show examples

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

standard

education

Change preposition

of education

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

many would move to the

cites

Correct your spelling

cities

show examples

insearch

Correct your spelling

in search

for

Change preposition

show examples

from the villages,

therefore

the younger ones will not find a reason to leave the old

people

alone in the

countryside

For example

, in Zimbabwe, the government built a very big university in one of the country's rural areas in order to cut the

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

of those leaving the rural areas

insearch

Correct your spelling

in search

of better education.

This

will surely

made

Change the verb form

make

be made

show examples

the teens

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

stay around and

helped

Wrong verb form

help

show examples

their

grand parents

Correct your spelling

grandparents

show examples

with house

jobs

aliviate feers

Correct your spelling

alleviate fears

lonelyness

Correct your spelling

loneliness

while

keeping

overloads

cities

and

crime

rates very low.

It is clear that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

our elderly will be left alone to do difficult

jobs

that might see them struggle to handle and

also

there will be

elevation

Add an article

the elevation

an elevation

show examples

crime

rates when

people

move to the

cities

and towns. To solve

this

, the nation can build

univerities

Correct your spelling

universities

and perve a way for

jobs

which will lure anyone from the thought of moving away for a new place.

Submitted by sisalt100 on Fri Aug 16 2024

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structure

Your ideas are clear, but consider organizing them in separate paragraphs for clearer understanding. For example, give each main problem and its solution its paragraph.

grammar/spelling

Pay attention to grammar and spelling to improve clarity, e.g., 'effforts' should be 'efforts', 'dream to begging' should be 'begin their career'.

examples

Make sure your examples are succinct and directly connected to your main points, e.g., your example about Kenya could be shorter and more directly linked to the problem of overpopulation.

task response

You have addressed both parts of the prompt by identifying problems and suggesting solutions, which shows a good understanding of the task.

task response

Your use of specific examples, such as the one from Kenya, adds value to your essay by providing concrete evidence for your arguments.

coherence

You have made a logical structure in your essay with introduction, main body, and conclusion, which aids reader comprehension.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

385 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural exodus
workforce decline
social services
cultural erosion
economic stagnation
depopulation
infrastructure burden
generational gap
policy interventions
economic diversification
rural infrastructure
community-based projects
mobile healthcare
communal ties
incentive schemes
urban influx
village abandonment

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Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and town, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

Include an introduction and conclusion

There are parents who choose to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school in some countries. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that individuals should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?

Many believe that social media platforms are exerting considerable adverse effects on their users in both individual and social aspects. Due to many reasons, I completely agree with this statement.

Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work? discuss your opinion.