In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some
people
argue that it is great that people
living in rural migrate to urban city
and the number of Fix the agreement mistake
cities
people
living in the countryside decrease
.
I don’t support Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
this
idea, as there will be some serious problems if most people
in the country start to lead a
urban lifestyle.
On the one hand, Change the article
an
people
who work in the
agriculture would decline because crops Correct article usage
apply
such
as rice, wheat, coons are grown in the countryside.
This
phenomenon causes a fatal problem both for nation
and Correct article usage
the nation
individual
.
Correct article usage
the individual
For example
, it is pridected
that Correct your spelling
predicted
people
will have to buy ingredients , which are needed to cook, at more expensive prices. It has a significant impact especially
on poor Add the comma(s)
, especially
honseholds
. Correct your spelling
households
In addition
, at the governmental level, it has a negative impact on nation’s
economy.Correct article usage
the nation’s
For instance
, they wiil
face difficulties Correct your spelling
will
to get
tax incomes Change preposition
in getting
due to
lower amount of consumption.
Another drawback of people
relocation
to urban Replace the word
relocating
area
is infrastructure in the rural region. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
While
some people
live in such
areas, government
would not allocate their Add an article
the government
bugets
to revise old infrastructure because Correct your spelling
budget
high
percentage of Add an article
a high
population
Add an article
the population
are
living in the city Correct subject-verb agreement
is
therefore
they pay more attention to those areas instead
of other areas.
On the other hand
, it has a positive effect on the countries. There would see
Verb problem
be
the
decrease number of new flats and homes. Correct article usage
a
As a result
, people
will not invade animal habitats and it is vital to protect a
local ecosystem
Correct article usage
the
To sum up
, although
this
phenomenon is considered to positive
by some Add a missing verb
be positive
people
, I think it is a negative development, as it will lead to some critical social issues in terms of economy
and infrastructure of the countries.Correct article usage
the economy
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task response
The task has been generally addressed and the points presented are relevant to the topic. However, make sure to develop your ideas more fully. Provide detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, the logical flow between paragraphs needs improvement. Try using more transitional phrases and connectors to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each main point is well supported with detailed evidence and examples. Some paragraphs are currently too brief and need further elaboration to be more convincing.
task response
The essay presents a clear stance on the given topic, arguing that rural-urban migration is a negative phenomenon.
coherence and cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present and relevant to the topic discussed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.