Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes while other people believe that the habit of making mistakes may adversely affect children's development and therefore adults should prevent this. To what extent do you agree with the statement? Elaborate on your answer.[743]
In
this
day and age, children
’s upbringing has been a topic of ongoing debates
. Whether in their childhood or in their academic years, Fix the agreement mistake
debate
children
are bound to make mistakes. Some advocate the notion that children
should have the freedom to make mistakes while
others express strong opposition for fear of its potential
dreadful effects on Change the word
potentially
child’s
development. From my perspective, the former is clearly more convincing and in what follows, I will provide pertinent reasoning to Correct article usage
a child’s
further
substantiate my stance.
Skeptics
have raised a concern that the practice of Change the spelling
Sceptics
mistake making
bears a latent risk of adversely affecting Add a hyphen
mistake-making
children
’s development. They argue that if children
are exposed too much to misconduct and shows
behaviour of social evils like addiction or crime, without necessary measures, they will not be assured of a bright future. Admittedly, Change the verb form
show
this
view is valid, but only to some extent. External support is not being taken into consideration in this
case. In children
’s process of trials
and Fix the agreement mistake
trial
errors
, with enough surveillance of adults, they can thrive in a much safer environment and Fix the agreement mistake
error
as a result
, running
Wrong verb form
run
lower
risk of misdeed. Correct article usage
a lower
Therefore
, the above concern appears to be groundless.
On the other hand
, an argument supporting the notion of mistake making
in Add a hyphen
mistake-making
children
is that it can aid in the development of a growth mindset. This
is because after
several wrongdoings, Add the comma(s)
, after
children
can start to notice that failure is not a permanent condition and gradually, they can overcome adversities and become a better version of themselves, given that they have perseverance and passion. Moreover
, it can also
help foster responsibility. As a matter of fact, when facing the consequences,lessons learnt from them stays
longer with Correct subject-verb agreement
stay
children
. Consequently
, the repurcussions
of their wrongdoings Correct your spelling
repercussions
instill
fear into their minds, Change the spelling
instil
thus
preventing similar courses of actions
from Fix the agreement mistake
action
reoccuring
.
The above discussion has already highlighted the limitations of the opposing view. To reiterate, Correct your spelling
reoccurring
while
impeding children
from making mistakes can be a valid parenting approach to some extent, I hold firm to my belief that children
should be allowed to experience failures to learn meaningful lessons.Submitted by Andy on
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task achievement
Include more specific examples to support arguments, particularly in the second body paragraph.
coherence cohesion
While the logical structure is strong, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, considering using transitional phrases like 'furthermore,' 'moreover,' or 'additionally.'
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, thoroughly discussing both sides of the debate and providing a clear stance.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that focus on individual points, and a cohesive conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are well-presented, encapsulating the main points of the essay effectively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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